A Matter of Conscience. ======================= Chriss stood at the steps to the church and looked up. He had not been religious in life, not had its presence bothered him in death. But now Chriss, a vampire, desperately sort the comfort of the church. It seemed quiet, but he knew it was open for evening prayer and confession. Hesitantly he walked up the steps, his feet felt like lead and his legs wobbled from the nerves. He probably expected to be struck down from above as he entered through the gothic portal into the gloom within. For show, he dipped his fingers into the holy water and crossed himself. There was no pain, his flesh did not burn or blister as the holy water touch his damned being. He lit a candle, made an offering and sat down to pray. He didn't know what to say. Or whom to say it. Would god, should he exist, listen to, let alone answer, a call from a creature of damnation? A murderer? A devourer of the life essence? However you describe a vampire, they are still unholy creatures, aren't they? He sat in silence, gazing around at the few individuals sitting of kneeling in silence. As despair began to sweep over him, he decided upon a course of action. He would hear the words of the church, and if they damn him, then he would accept there judgement and do whatever pennance they commanded of him. Slowly, but confidently, he strode over to the confessional booth and sat down in the tiny darkened space. "Father forgive me for I have sinned." "How long is it since your last confession?" "I'm sorry father, b b b but that is difficult for me, for I am not raised in the Catholic church so I have never been to confession." "My child, the sanctity of the confession is offered to those with faith." "But I I I I need to speak, to confess. Would you have me leave? Would you turn someone away who need help?" "No of course not, I will hear your confession." Chriss paused, trying desperately to find a way to phrase things. "Father forgive me for I have sinned, tonight, but a few hours ago, I was with a young friend, a girl, a prostetute and a drug addict. I felt pity for her liffe for I I I I knew that within a few years she would be a derelict, alone and dying." "So what did you do?" "I felt such pity for her, I killed her." "Why did you do that?" "BEcause I was her friend, I couldn't she her destroy herself, but she wouldn't l l l listen." "So you took it upon yourself to judge her?" "Yes father, I did." "Do you feel remorse for what you did, do you regret it? How do you feel about it now?" "I feel awful, this w w w weighs upon me greatly, not like the others which were easy." "What others?" Chriss sighed, well he had gone this far, might as well go the whole way. "I I I I have killed others yes. But I don't regret doing them, but I don't know who I can live knowing that I must kill...." "I don't understand, killing is a sin, you cannot put yourself as a judge over others to decide whether they deserve to live or die. That is gods right, not yours. That path of which you speak is the path taken by the sensational serial killer who claims to be doing gods work, but god does not need man to do his work. But satan, he will tempt you to do *his* work and damn you in the process....." "But I I I I am already damned, don't you understand, I need to kill to survive, but I don't know if I can." "Why do you need to kill and is this some sort of prank young man?" "No, its not a prank, its all true, aren't you listening to me? Yes I need to kill and yes I am damned. I can only exist by killing. I am a vampire....." "Vampires don't exist and I truly believe that you are a wicked ....." "NO no no, why won't you listen to me ....." "I am listening to you and I am dismayed by your behaviour, claiming to be a vampire ....." Chriss didn't listen any further, he slipped out of the confessional, blended into the dark shadows around and gently opened the door to the middle compartment of the confessional. The Priest failed to notice Chriss, until he was in there with him, then he heard the hiss, saw the gleem inn those dark eyes as he snarled, bearing sharp white teeth. He tried to reach for his crucifix, but Chriss sank his teeth into his neck, driven and controlled by his dark nature... Chriss stood over the dead Priest. "Father forgive me for I have sinned, I am a sinner, damned to walk the night, to feed upon thy congragation as a wolf upon the flock of sheep. I am a sin, I exist to sin, for now, forever, and always. Amen." Chriss smiled, a nasty, evil sneer.......