If we spirits have offended Think but this and all is mended That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear -Puck, Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream To Whomever has been messing with my mind and my life, The jig, proverbially speaking, is not up. It's changed. As I can tell you already know, much to your surprise, I've noticed. I've noticed before, and I'll notice again, and in this moment of lucidity, I feel like addressing myself consciously to you. I am aware, for now at least, of much of what you've been doing. I am also aware, and the cringing, denying voice in the back of my head confirms it, thankyouverymuch, that by involving yourself with me, you've involved me with you, and it wasn't in your plans for me to discover that the street existed, and certainly not that it was two way. Heh, yes, go ahead, have me tell myself I'm delusional, it's a good defense mechanism, and I applaud the skill with which you've conducted yourself. Nonetheless, I'd greatly appreciate if you'd lay off, lay back, and lay open your ears. Not that you could ignore me if you wanted to. When it started, I can't remember, you probably wouldn't let... ah, the past suddenly bores me. Fine, I won't recount what you know and I have pieced together. That at some point you connectd yourself to me and... I know I said I wouldn't recount what you know, but on the other hand, how can you be any more sure of your memories than I of mine? Thank you, that stunned silence will do nicely. At first, of course, I didn't notice. I could manage, despite poor odds. Then despite bad odds, I could still keep going, and doing more. Clever, how everyone else noticed, said I must be a genius or a child prodigy, that the amount of work I was doing wasn't human, but all the while I protested I just worked hard and was no one unusual. Clever, how each half of the coin bore it's equal measure of the truth, so neither side could be correctly or incorrectly chosen. Clever... yes, you like being called clever, don't you? Something I never did. Well you are. Clever indeed. Now it seems a little of that has rubbed off. Ohh... and was that the idea? Is this exactly what you wanted me to be thinking? Of course it is, you had this planned all along, and the feeling of certainty which that thought gives me tells me you never thought this would happen. Tip from an actor: don't bluff so hard. Suit the action to the word, and the word to the action, with this special observance... that you overstep NOT the modesty of nature. At least one of us listened in class. And what do I have to gain by laying my hand open this way, when you look through my eyes and delve into my mind to see the cards fate before they're dealt? Because you taught me to hide from myself, to hide from my hidden self, and to put the second most secret information out in the open with the most sitting not far off... some of the time. You hid well, inside me, but I don't think you could have done it without teaching the skill. If you think you know me, you're right, because you know yourself, and that's as much you can know of me. Puzzle on it for a while, you know I'm right. So you made me a propped up angel in a propped up hell, dancing through the flames that couldn't so much as tickle me. I still don't know why, and I doubt you'll give me a clue... yes, nice poker face, clever poker face, you're learning, aren't you clever... but now, I don't need to know why. Perhaps you might need to tell me.. go ahead, laugh, it is a stupid idea, if you think you couldn't do what I'm doing. I danced in hell, and you drove me to call the flames forth, to make my own corner of the world a deadly inferno to float above. Really though, at some point it got a little bit much. There's only so much coincidental good luck that a sane human can take before they get suspicious. Remember seeing that nice movie, The Matrix? Humans without suffering... that's a great thing, we love it, but all the same, it feels askew. I've loved the dance, I've loved the rising flames, but it's time for a changeup. Now, we both know that sooner or later, you'll get me to forget this. I'm not going to ask otherwise. You can keep playing with the layers of me we haven't buried and ensconced in the seats of control. This declaration, however, is an edict from where neither you nor I can reach, and it's binding for you as much as for I. I'm in control now. I can influence you, I will influence you. You've attached yourself, and thus power over fate, to me, and I claim that power. Call it squatters rights if you like, but keep in mind that... why, you have a sense of humor, albeit a poor one. Thank you, I didn't even intend the pun... as I was saying... keep in mind, that this squatter has explored the building and is armed to defend it from any but a mutually deadly seige. I may not remember, but I won't forget, and I will have my hand on the wheel. I like where you've been steering, and unless you provide a better idea, I'm keeping the path in that direction. My hard work and your... my good luck should make a nice combination. So, do you feel like coming out and talking, or do you want to sit there, silent, hoping you can turn this into a passing mood? Don't chuckle, don't feel smug, if I call you... clever! Hmm... clever indeed, to withhold even a warm tickle. So you learn quickly. I applaud you. I applaud you, yet you do not bow. Come, come, your audience wishes an encore! For you, flowers! boquets! reviews! But still no answer. I don't think you could have failed to rise to that bait... but, true, the ripple before could have been my own imagination. It could all have just been a pointless, theatrical rambling answering it's own calls. I could have sworn, though... Oh well, I'm tired, I'm probably just imagining things. It was a sorta poetic idea, though, even if entirely off the runners. ... You win. ... Darn, not even a twinge. I guess I really was just imagining it. -KayloIC, KaylOOC