There are only two kinds of Malkavians: the bent and the broken. There are only two kinds of Malkavians: those who have derange- ments and those whose derangements have them. There are only four kinds of Malkavians: the dead, the undead, the living, and the rest. Fire is the devil's only friend, but it's not being fair to fire to leave it at that. Fire tries to be everyone's friend, which often leaves fire caught in the middle when two of fire's friends have a falling out. Sometimes I feel bad for fire yet, at other times, I wish I could be more like fire. The world might be a better place if people thought of fire when they start to argue. ED has a mind like a steel trap: cold, metallic, and a cruel fate awaiting babes in the woods. Hagbutt is neither Holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire. If you stare hard enough at the back of your hand for long enough, you can see through it. This is -not- because you developed X-ray vision - which is silly, because you're not Superman - but because you have bored a hole through your hand with your mind or an electric drill. If your other hand is holding a drill, it may have been because of the drill. If the drill appears to have a hole bored into it, however, it may be because of your mind. If your other hand also has a drill in it... When the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates really do eat the tourists. Setting someone on fire is not widely recognized as a gesture of affection, but NOT setting people on fire won't change this view. Insanity doesn't really run in families. It sits and it waits for family members to come and visit it, like your aunt in the attic that no one ever talks about and everyone pretends doesn't exist. Feeling pins and needles when your leg's fallen asleep is better than feeling them when it's fully awake. Just because They really are after you, it doesn't mean you're not paranoid. Just because you've ground glass, it doesn't mean it's safe to eat. You should boil it first. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your friends' brains, but if you ice-pick your friends' brains, you will reach a point of rapidly diminishing returns. A little insanity never hurt anybody, but its detrimental effects on anymind are more significant. A rolling stone gathers no moss, unless maybe it has become caked with blood and picks up some moss by rolling over it. A cynic's preference for his dog's company over that of another man is understood by his fellow man - which only serves to piss the cynic off further. The most annoying style of poetry is the kind that doesn't rhyme. It's not the style of poetry on which I'd waste my effort. Violence never solves everything. If it turned out that the sun was really just a big riverboat or a chariot or the severed flaming testicle of some long-forgotten god, it would still burn you...but it sounds less impressive than being incinerated by radiation from a billion billion billion-ton thermonuclear furnace. The scale of divine wrath has only grown with scientific explanations. A wooden stake through the heart will paralyze a vampire. It will kill a normal human being. Removing the stake will free a vampire and help a normal human being bleed to death. Would-be vampire slayers will clumsily aim for the heart with a dull tent stake and a mallet before they'll ever consider carrying a bang- stick with a Dragon's Breath round. This is the point of the Masquerade. The Masquerade is occult lore jujitsu. If the Malkavian Madness Network seems *too* quiet, go into Options, then Preferences. In the Messages dialog, uncheck "Subliminal." You may need to breakdown and start up again. If silence persists, don't look so smug, the voices might come back. Vis