"A Cynic's Holiday"
	by an anomaly <n9542887@beaker.cc.wwu.edu>

Fred Baum lay warm and snug in bed
An old axe on the floor, the blade stained dull red.
You see, Fred was a hit man who killed for a living
But believed that the best part of Christmas was giving.
So he'd given a chop with his old battered axe
To a few pricey heads. Now he could relax
And dream of the next morning, Christmas itself.
He dreamed dreams of decapitating an elf.
But morning soon came, and his stocking looked full--
Out came a new axe with a yank and a pull!
Fred was ecstatic, and leaped up for joy,
Then rushed to go try out his new Christmas toy.
This story's moral is in plain view--
But for those in the cheap seats, I'll repeat it for you.
Being good doesn't matter, do whatever you dare...
Your sock will be full. Sain Nick just don't care.

                 MERCARI