From: Teo Well I believe the question was: "Why do Malkavians Prank?" I have pondered what I should do about this question. The only worthwile thing on my homepage (no I'm not giving you the URL) happens to be a text on reasons why to prank people. I also made one about how to prank but that one needs fleshing out and isnt on the homepage (so there is no use to go there looking for it). Anyway, I *was* gonna send the whyprank text to Ere and Nette for their malk-book thing.. but since the question arose I think I'll just post it.. sorry Nette.. feel free to use it anyway.. ------ PRANKING, the why's: Some Malkavians (and others) might raise their eyebrows at this and ask: "Reasons? There has to be reasons?" Well sure, there is no reason not to have a reason, in fact it's hard to avoid having a reason to do anything you happen to do. If no other reason seems to exist you might safely assume that the reason for the relevant action was that you just *felt* like it. Some might argue that this is not reason enough, but undoubtedly they have a hidden reason for arguing this point and should not be trusted. Back to the different reasons we prank and my thoughts on it. Here they are.. * I felt like it. Yeah, right. To say that you did something just because you felt like it is crazy. Yes, you are a Malkavian and yes you *are* cRaZY, whacked out of your skull, bonkers, etc etc. Butt and it is a big butt, most of the time saying that you just felt like it is a coverup for another deeper-seated reason. Why do you feel like it? Answer that and then move down the line untill you find your *real* reason. Of course you might be a total stream of conciousness person who doesn't think about anything beforehand, but these individuals will not remember this text for more than two seconds after they have completed reading it anyway so they may be safely ignored until encountered, at which point you humour the harmless cases and run away from the violent ones. You're saying I argued for this reason myself? In the introduction to this text? Okay, sometimes this is a valid reason, but most of the time there is a deeper seated reason. *Because, I am a Malkavian, wise guy. The original take on peer-pressure. You do it because it is expected of you. A good enough reason I suppose if you *like* having no mind of your own. Hopefully you do it with some sense of style, originality, finesse and/or success. If not, well you provide someone else with entertainment anyway. *Because God/Malkav/The President of the United States of America/the little voice in my head tell me to. A valid reason. A shrink would say that the voices in your head are just your unconcious talking to you, but all shrinks are crazy anyway so what do they know? It might very well be Malkav who has decided he needs someone to do a little footwork or God (if he exists) who wants a little chat now and then and gives you (if you exist) lewd suggestions to vent his sexual frustrations (if they exist). Go for it, don't say I didn't warn ya. Well I didn't, so you could, but I won't care so it is at most an exercise in practical futility. Maybe you should sell tickets. *One word: Confusion, Smokescreen, Chaos. Ah, so you want to keep people guessing. Smart move, if they don't know why you prank and maybe even think you do it *just* because you *feel* like it, they won't see the next one coming. Then maybe I shouldn't have written this text. Hmmm... *This guy has it coming to him. For some reason there is this guy you can't stand. Maybe he sat on your imaginary friend, maybe he ate your ghouled hamster, maybe he thinks you are an elephant and keeps trying to hose you down to clean you up (a contradiction in terms?). Whatever. A prank might be just what is needed to put him in his place. Get his ghoul arrested for soliciting, get your ghouls to paint his haven blue while he is sleeping, fill his resting place with jello, go ahead. Just remember one thing. Just because you do something nastily crazy to someone doesn't mean it is a prank. Throwing handgrenades through a persons window is just unimaginative and brutal. A *Brujah* could have thought of that one. *Enlightenment comes only with soap in your head. I can relate to that. People who think of themselves and the world as sane are just unenlightened and has a nasty shock coming to them when they bite the big one only to find out that god (if he exists) created the world (if it exists) to have something to do while he waited for the microwave-popcorn to get done. He meant to destroy it directly afterwards, but he dropped it when the phone (if it exists) rang and it rolled in under the fridge (if god, if he exists, has one) and you don't wanna go looking for something under the fridge, right? This and countless other things could be and in all cases are the truth. Because what is truth, when you get down to it? Just the infinitely many sides of the same coin. So, anyway you feel kindly disposed to the world in general and your fellow vampires in particular and want to remove the cloth of sanity from their eyes (poetic licence required for this euphemism can be bought from your local bookstore) and show them what the world is REALLY like. This type of pranking is rewarding. You get to piss someone off and at the same time be steadfast in the knowledge that you're really doing them a favor by making their world a slightly less boring place. The most rewarding kind of prank is the one where someone else beside yourself can see the joke. Try not to be to violent, at least not to your temporary student. You are trying to grant them the blessing of madness, not grant them the blessing of final death. Dead students fail exams. I enjoy it, buster. What's it to ya? Nothing. I enjoy it too. Making your surroundings a little less dreary is a good cause. Chaos is not bad, it's good. If your friends are totally certain of you, your not trying hard enough. If your enemies think you are harmless you might be on to something or you might just be a lamb in the great sheepherd of life. Whatever. Stagnation is your enemy, unless it is unsettling to someone else then enhance it and make someone else climb the walls. If you go all out you might get killed or bloodhunted or worse, but isn't it worth it? Not on your fangs!!! If you prank and run away you live to prank another day. Do you have your why's in order now? Want to try it out? Not sure how? Well, pranking needs to be original, so I won't go into specifics, but I do have some advice. Coming soon to a list near you: Teo's guide to pranking. -- <()> -- Teo FUNK member since.. uhm.. since a while ago.. "If worst comes to worst, we're screwed." -Steven Wright