Malkavian Quotes

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
				-Sarah Williams

"The Young Man who has not Wept is a Savage, and the Old man who will not
laugh is a Fool"
				-Confucius

"I believe in both sides of the issue. That is why I argue effectively.
Fewer enemies that way, too."
				-Ian 'Sings of the Blood Moons'

  A young man wrote to Mozart and said, "Herr Mozart, I am thinking of 
writing symphonies. Can you give me any suggestions as to how to get 
started?"
  Mozart responded, "A symphony is a very complex musical form, perhaps 
you should begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony."
  "But Herr Mozart, you were writing symphonies when you were 8 years old."
  "But I never asked anybody how."

"Craziness is in the eyes of the beholder."
				-sybil/monique

"If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him."
				-George Carlin

"A multiple personality adds something to a person."
				-sybil/monique

"Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool."
				-Erehwon

"A lunatic may be 'soothed,' as it is called, for a time.  But in the 
end, he is apt to become obstreperous.  His cunning too is proverbial and 
great.  If he has a project in view, he conceals his design with a marvelous
wisdom; and the dexterity with which he counterfeits sanity presents to
the metaphysician one of the most singular problems in the study of the
mind.  When a madman appears to be thoroughly sane, indeed, it is high time
to put him in a straightjacket."
				-E.A. Poe "The System of Dr. Tarr and Prof. Fether"

"Try explaining Hitler to a kid."
				-George Carlin

"A man feared he might find an assassin;
 Another that he might find a victim.
 One was more wise than the other."
				-Stephen Crane

"There's a pleasure sure
in being mad
Which none but madmen know..."
				-John Dryden

"When everybody else zigs, zag."
				-Tom Yobaggy

"Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
				-David Ogilvy

"Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have."
				-Emile Chartier

"Children enter school as question marks and leave as periods."
				-Neil Postman

"We Southerners like our men religious and a bit mad. I suspect
that's why the women fall in love with preachers."
				-General Longstreet, in _Gettysburg_

"Violence without thought is like brutality without fear--the one without 
the other is just a balls-up attitude."
				-Barrett Serjent, _Game of War: Self_

"I may be insane, but I'm not crazy"
				-The Joker

"You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up."
				-George Carlin

"When a Malkavian speaks, listen.  When a Malkavian acts, leave.  
When two Malkavians gather, run."
				-Gangrel, on Malkavians

"To distinguish the real from the unreal, one must experience them both."
				-Erehwon

"If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot
other people in the eyes."
				-Prizm

"Reality and I had a fundamental differing of opinions.  We're currently 
undergoing trial separation."
				-Lothriel the PIXIE

"Intelligence tests are biased toward the literate."
				-George Carlin

"Thoughts are things... what you most think about WILL happen.  We create
our own realities!"
				-Doc Zimmermann

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 7:50 am, flashed a gun, and demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast.  The man, frustrated, walked away.

"I'm a perfectly good carrot that everyone is trying to carve into a 
rose.  I have good color and a nice, green, leafy top.  When I am carved 
into a rose, I wither and turn brown."
				-Reviving Ophelia

"SANITY IS THE PLAYGROUND FOR THE UNIMAGINATIVE"
				-Joop Jeans

"Warning. Do not Taunt Happy Fun Malk."
				-Doc

"You are NOT thinking! You're merely being rational!"
				-Niels Bohr, to Albert Einstein

"Sometimes I lie awake at night in my bed and I watch the Stars, and I
wonder, where the fuck is my ceiling?"
				-Tiffany-Joanne

"Love is the most refined form of madness."
				-Unknown

"You say 'Sit down, you're rocking the boat!';  I say 'Are you afraid of
getting wet?'"
				-niebert

"Just because I'm carrying the joy of killing your wife and daughter
inside me doesn't me we can't be friends."
				-Sid 6.7, _Virtuosity_

"We are all agreed that your theory is crazy.  The question which divides 
us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct.  My 
own feeling is that it is not crazy enough."
				-Niels Bohr

"A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men..."
				-Willy Wonka

"...because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to
live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same 
time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, 
burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the 
stars..."
				-Kerouac "On the Road"

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge 
five dollars for the second glass.  The refill contained the antidote."
				-Emo Phillips

"You're a madman!"
"Yeah, ain't it cool?"
				-Broken Arrow

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children 
jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know 
I'm only using blanks."
				-Emo Phillips

"Sanity, you're a madman!"
				-The Tick

"The toughest time...in anyone's life...is when you have to kill a loved one
just because they're the devil."
				-Emo Phillips

"Isn't sanity just a one-trick pony anyway?  I mean, all you get
is that one trick--rational thinking--but when you're good and crazy,
well, the sky's the limit!"
				-The Tick

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going 
to mop the floor with your face.'  I said, 'You'll be sorry.'  He said, 
'Oh, yeah? Why?'  I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the 
corners very well.'"
				-Emo Phillips

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious
triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank
with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much,
because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory
nor defeat."
				-Theodore Roosevelt

"History is written by those in power to justify the present. Memory is the
same thing on a smaller scale."
				-Unknown

"As children, we all had fears.  The thing under the bed, the
monsters in the closet, the boogyman, and Mr. Eyeballplucker, but
for a few of us, the nightmares never go away."
				-Reshaka

"How we all would run in fear if only we could see inside our own
twisted minds."
				-Reshaka

"There wouldn`t be any point in having delusions of grandeur, Malkavians
already do rule the world!" 
				-Harry Scully

"Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day.  But give a man a stick
of dynamite and at least he'll die with his stomach full."
				-Puck

"When I die, I want to go peacefully. Like my grandfather did.  In his sleep.
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car." 
				-Jack Handey, SNL

"Q: Are you schizophrenic?
 A: The others told you, didn't they?"
				-"Puck"

"He pauses and peers up at me again to make sure I'm getting it, and I
want to yell out to him Yes, I see: Mexico IS like the walnut; it's brown and
hard and you feel it with your eye and it FEELS like the walnut!  You're
making sense, old man, a sense of your own.  You're not crazy the way
they think."
				-Ken Kesey, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

" 'We are lunatics from the hospital up the highway, psycho-ceramics, the 
cracked pots of mankind.  Would you like me to decipher a Rorschach
for you?  No?  You must hurry on?  Ah, he's gone.  Pity.'  He turned to
McMurphy.  'Never before did I realize that mental illness could have the
aspect of power, POWER.  Think of it: perhaps the more insane a man is,
the more powerful he could become.' "
				-Ken Kesey, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

" 'We can even have a lobby in Washington,' Harding was saying, 'an
organization.  NAAIP.  Pressure groups.  Big billboards along the highway
showing a babbling schizophrenic running a wrecking machine, bold, red,
and green type: "Hire the Insane".  We've got a rosy future, gentlemen.' "
				-Ken Kesey, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"

"Springfield Psychiatry- Because there may not be bugs all over you."
				-The Simpsons

"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."
				-Unknown

"668: The Neighbor of the Beast"
				-Uriel

"The only difference between me & a madman is that I am not mad."
				-Salvadore Dali

"Comfort, committment, marriage...what do all these things have in 
common? The letter 'C'. Well, except for marriage. And if people get all 
British when they get hit over the head, what do British people get? I 
know! Comatose! Another 'C'..."
				-The Tick

"If you take a frown and turn it upside-down, the person you are holding by
the ankles will probably pass out after a while."
				-Patton Moonstone

"Insanity in Sanity, or is it, In Sanity Insanity. Oh well. Either way 
is insanity." 
				-Daelen Paul Armegaeddon, Prince of Daytona, Florida

"Mindwanders
Former Ventrue Primogen of Dundee
(the ventrue found out)"
				-seen in a .sig

"And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad."
				-Aldous Huxley

"With a bit of mind flip,
You're into the time slip.
And nothing will ever be the same."
				-"The Time Warp", from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

"Q: What's a Malkavian? A: Portable chaos."
				-Lisa (aka Holly)

"Sanity is relative.  For some of us, it's just a distant cousin."
				-B.J. Zanzibar

"A little Malkav goes a long way, but a lot goes further."
				-Heather Nicoll

"Personally, I think prolonged periods of sleep deprivation along with 
gallons of caffein gives you a buzz like you wouldn't believe, and later 
you remember everything, but not exactly why you did those things to that 
cat or why it was so damn funny."
				-the late dentarthurdent

"If people get a kick out of running down pedestrians, you have to let 
them do it."
				-Paul Jacobs

"This means that we have to invent new conceptual artificialities in 
order to give an account of what we see when we meet somebody who looks 
and behaves like a human being. How do we know he is one?"
				-Prof. Niklas Luhmann

"I've tried everything else to convince you. Now I'm going to be sensible."
				-unnamed congressman

"I meant to kill my wife, but I forgot my glasses."
				-accused murderer of a passerby

"Q: What should I do if I find a rock in a bag of potatoes?
 A: Simply return the rock to your grocer, who will give you the rock's 
weight in potatoes."
				-from a U.S. Department of Agriculture 
					booklet, "How to buy potatoes"

"What you see with your eyes is only the surface of reality; look deeper."
				-Tanis, Star Trek:Voyager

"When you're in agreement with the sane they're a great comfort and
protection, but when you disagree with them it's another matter. Then
they're dangerous. Then they'll do anything. The sinister thing that struck
the most fear in him was what they'd do in the name of kindness. The ones
he cared about most suddenly, all of them, turned against him the same way
they had against Ellen. They kept saying, 'There's no way we can reach you.
If only we could make you understand.'"
				-Robert M. Pirsig, "Lila"

"The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.  It
is not reality, though you can express reality there if you wish.  You
are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.  The
original sin is to limit the Is.  Don't."
				-Richard Bach "Illusions"

"I'm Mad, you see.  Every morning I get up and I say to myself 'Good 
Morning Mad Gerald, how are you today?' and every morning I say 'I'm 
completely mad today thank you.'"
				-Rupert the Sheep Dog, PhD

molokov:     "The man is utterly mad!  You're playing a lunatic."
the russian: "That's the problem: he's a brilliant lunatic, and you can 
never tell which way he'll jump, like his game is impossible to analyze.
You can't dissect him, predict him...which of course means he's not a
lunatic at all."
				-Chess, the musical

Ventrue in a ponderous mood "If a man is a dude and a female a
dudette, then what would one call a neuter?"
Malkavian:" A dud."

TUGWELL'S BASIC ASSUMPTION: Reality is a hypothesis.

"If someone has to find God, does that mean that God is lost? Why isn't
his face on milk cartons?"
				-the late dentarhurdent

"I am but mad north by northwest. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk
from a handsaw."
				-Shakespeare, Hamlet

"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
				-Lewis Caroll, Alice in Wonderland

"I put the fun in dysfunctional!"
				-Michael Rafferty

"I'm crazy! Do you like it?"
				-Joker

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, hooooooo!"
				-Tigger

"School makes the eyes useless but oh the pretty things I can see when i 
stop looking."
				-Nightshade

"I choose to be a lunatic because we are the one non-conformist group 
where the members aren't all the same."
				-Rev. Omnicynic, Phoenician Life Cabal

"All mad men see all other men as mad."
				-J.Lenius

"I got my immortality free inside a box of Wheety-Flakes..."
				-Chris McMullen

"...life is like a box of Malkavians, you never know what you're 
gonna get..."
				-Chris Noonan

"Whenever you find that you are a member of the majority, It's time to 
reform."
				-Mark Twain

"Sanity is a cozy lie." 
				-Susan Sontag

"There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line."
				-Oscar Levant

"Perhaps God is not dead; perhaps God himself is mad."
				-R.D. Lang

"Of course I'm sane! The voices told me so."
				-Michael DeRosa

"When you're lo-oo-ny then you just don't give a fig
  Man's so pu-uu-uuny and the universe so big
  If you hurt inside, get certified, and if life should treat you bad
  Don't get ee-ee-eeven ...
  Don't get ee-ee-eeven...
  Don't get ee-ee-eeven...
  G E T    M A D ! ! ! ! !"
				-The Joker, Batman: The Killing Joke

"As I was walking up the stair, 
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today. 
I wish, I wish he'd go away."
				-Hugh Mearns

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be mowed down in the crossfire."
				-The Nanotech Chronicles by Michael Flynn

"For a while the reveries provided an outlet for his imagination; they were a
satisfactory hint of the unreality of reality, a promise that the rock of the
world was founded securly on a fairy's wing."
				-The Great Gatsby  by F. Scott Fitxgerald

"Catch ya in the next big bonfire. No that wasn't a threat it was a 
joke....Kinda"
				-Mummu the First

"Do not meddle in the affairs of Malkavians, for you are crunchy and good 
with ketchup!"
				-Dennis Clark

"Robin: You're out of your mind, Joker!
 Joker: Gloriously so! Isn't it wonderful?"
				-Robin and the Joker

"We met as soulmates/
On Paris Island/
We left as inmates/
From an asylum..."
				-Billy Joel, "Good night Saigon"

"Husha bye baby,
hush quite a lot
bad babies get rabies
and have to be shot."
				-Laura Black

"That's the worst thing about Malkavians...you never know whether
to shoot them or listen to them.  They'll either lead you right to your
goal or try to get you to go sunbathing.  Wouldn't surprise me if
God was a Malkavian."
				-Capt. Jean St. Dupris, Clan Gangrel

"Try playing a Malkavian. Devote yourself to annoying people in subtle 
 and creative ways. Misinterpret everything they say. Poke them."
				-Ashley

"Be wary when you find yourself walking down a path towards 
knowledge--all such roads inevitably lead to madness."
				-Erehwon

"Anything new, anything worth doing, can't be recognized. People don't 
 have that much vision."
				-Pablo Picasso

"When you find yourself falling into madness, dive!"
				-Malkavian saying

"An object at rest cannot be stopped! Yeah, baby, yeah!"
				-The evil midnight bomber what bombs at midnight

"Hello, all you boys and girls,
 I'd like to take you to the inside world.
 It's quite an irregular place to be,
 But never fear, you're safe with mee...
 [long pause]
 (...well, maybe.)"
                          --"Frizzle Fry", Primus

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't."
			-Polonius, Shakespeare's Hamlet

"Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you."
			-Carl Jung

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, but give him a 
case of dynamite and soon the village will be showered with mud and 
seaweed and unidentifiable chunks of fish."
			-Joe Chew, alt.folklore.urban

"All right, let's lay down some ground rules:
1.) Don't mess with a Malkavian
2.) Don't mess with a Malkavian when there are other Malkavians around
3.) Do _not_ mess with a Malkavian who's packing enough Dominate to make you
    act like a playful puppy (sit, fetch, roll over, play dead....GOOD BOY!)
4.) Don't mess with a Malkavian (did I forget to mention that?)
5.) Page XX (see Werewolf: the Apocalypse)
  Any questions?"
       			-Raven Darksaint

The purpose of a fish trap is to catch fish, and when the fish are caught, the
trap is forgotten. The purpose of a rabbit snare is to catch rabbits. When the
rabbits are caught, the snare is forgotten. The purpose of words is to convey
ideas. When the ideas are grasped, the words are forgotten. Where can I find a
man who has forgotten words? He is the one I would like to talk to.
--Chuang Tzu 

"We live as we dream - alone..."
	-- Joseph Conrad, "Heart of Darkness"

"I am selling my soul! Everything must go!!!"
	-- Bob Hund

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
	-- Mark Twain

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
	-- The Hulk

"A country without a king is a country without a soul."
	-- Magnus Edlund

Much Madness is divinest Sense --
To a discerning Eye --
Much Sense--the starkest Madness --
'Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail --
Assent--and you are sane --
Demur--you're straightway dangerous --
And handled with a Chain --
	-- Emily Dickinson "Much Madness is divinest Sense"

"Cows are people too!"
	-- Unknown

"Jon, be one person again!"
	-- Moore & Gibbons "Watchmen"

"Why are you spending so much time with me, doctor?"
	-- Moore & Gibbons "Watchmen"

-Hey! Hey, are you crazy? Thats's kerosene!
-Yes. Shouldn't bother trying to saw through handcuffs. Never make it in time.
	-- Moore & Gibbons "Watchmen"

- But you'd regained interest in human life...
- Yes, I have. I think perhaps I'll create some.
	-- Moore & Gibbons "Watchmen"

"He's a man of few words, and he doesn't know what either of them mean"
     	-- Terry Pratchett, "The Carpet People"

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the
sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and
shouting 'All gods are bastards'."
     	-- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"

"They both savoured the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than
ordinary people, who were only ignorant of ordinary things."
     	-- Terry Pratchett, "Equal Rites"

"The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it
regularly went cuckoo."
	-- Terry Pratchett, "Wyrd Sisters"

" 'Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure
sign of a diseased mind.' "
	-- Terry Pratchett, "Eric"

" 'This is a lovely party,' said the Bursar to a chair, 'I wish I was here.' "
	-- Terry Pratchett, "Lords and Ladies"

"Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness."
	-- Terry Pratchett, "Men at Arms"

"When in this life you find darkness the light of madness shines through it."
	-- Morgan