Pharmaceutical Breakthrough for Vampires. (With full apologies to the original author of the musician related piece). ANGSTERIL (tri-tetraethylwhiningwankerhydrazine sulfate USP) brand of attitude suppressant for Vampire and other supernatural species prone to fits of overly tiresome self-examination. AVAILABLE FORMS 125mg tablets 1000mg caplets (Angsteril Uber-Strength) 50g/l suspension (Angsteril I.V.) for continuous intravenous infusion See also Alternate Forms, below INDICATIONS For the reduction of attitude, complaint, whinging and other forms of overly expressive sounds of displeasure concerning an uncaring universe or unsympathetic listeners. For soothing of bruised ego. For alleviation of feeling of technical, creative, and evolutionary superiority to Mortals and Vampires in the sufferers location or other. For temporary relief of professional jealousy, incomplete self loathing, need to discuss directly personal situation details, the inability to decide when is the right time to shut the hell up, suicidal intentions (without subsequent corrective actions) and related conditions. ACTION Temporarily deadens attitudinal receptors in the sub-primadonnal region of the left temporal lobe with subsequent suppression of vocal intent originating from the suffers anal regions. DOSAGE Note: The following are recommended guidelines, subject to increase in cases of exceptional attitude or for witnesses amusement value. Teenagers and assorted Fae : Use of Angsteril in these instances is not recommended, except in cases of child prodigies or adults behaving as children in the vain attempt to recreate a personality for themselves, for whom extreme dosages have proven to be of therapeutic or entertainment value (see Alternate Forms, below). Ventrue and Brujah.: Two 125mg tablets every 3-hour rant/speech. This may be increased to two Uber-Strength caplets if symptoms persist or if they make a funny face when trying to swallow. Giovanni and those Harbinger people: One-half tablet every 3-hour ritual for summoning from Beyond the Pale. Twice dosage if they insist on hiring deranged/deformed assistants. Malkavian : The recommended dosage of 5000mg every one-half hour of consciousness makes oral administration impractical. Generally, continuous intravenous infusion as indicated or a sound beating with a blunt stick as appropriate or inappropriate as the situation demands. Toreador: Research has shown that attitudinal receptors of Toreador are immune from suppression by any means. The use of attitude suppressant agents has therefore proved of no therapeutic value in these cases. Prompt execution has been shown to be effective however. Wraith: See Alternate Forms, below. Whinebegon has shown to be most effective. Apply to local environment then force air circulation by running around the room, with arms waving, screaming "ghost, ghost!" Repeat as necessary. POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS Greater periods of silence, sudden focus, increased ability to keep track of social happenings other than those concerning self, the loss of the fake French accent. General increase in creativity and originality. In Toreador excessive dosages have been know to cause dramatic and uncontrollable increases in the being fun to be around ability, and marked desire to talk to people rather than at them. Excessive doses within other Clans may cause a reduction of sense of self to the point of being an utter observer and eventual character degradation (See attached leaflet,"Lurkeritis: Its Causes and Prevention"). Some sufferers have noticed a new found ability to converse with others without need to mention self and the ability to add to a conversation rather than detract from there of. ALTERNATE FORMS OF ANGSTERIL For special situations. Gripenot: Angsteril brand attitude suppressant in pleasant-tasting, espresso-flavored liquid form. For Characters experiencing difficulty in swallowing tablets. Also recommended for surreptitious introduction into colleagues' blood supply. Getoverit: Angsteril brand attitude suppressant available as a diffusion patch. For Vampires who are eating challenged. Recommended for Neonates and others prone to Anne Rice sourced expectations of the Vampire condition. Also available as Angelone for those who watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer for periods greater than those recommended by manufacturers. Snivelaway: Angsteril brand attitude suppressant in easily administered 9mm form. Capsule is administered at high speed directly into the head of recalcitrant Malkavians or random passersby. For the truly surly and intractable Snivelaway is available in 7.62mm belt feed batches, 155mm artillery piece and 16 inch ‘Iron John' battleship varieties. The magnetic propulsion applicator (Gausszilla) has been removed from sale due to unforseen violations of the Space/Time Continuum. For complaints/questions relating to Gausszilla please refer to our Reality Disfunction department. Whinebegon: Angsteril brand attitude suppressant in aerosol form, for area effect or LARP-wide dispersal. Pissoff: Angsteril brand attitude suppressant in compact, Triple-Extra-Strength suppositories. Caution: This is the only form proven effective for Poseurs and Fairy Creatures. To be administered at high speed via the convenient railway girder sized application device. Extra-Blunt variety available upon request. ********************************** - Mr. Badger