> Vampire: The Masquerade > Character Quiz > by Shaun Greenwald (a.k.a. DwightFrye) (additives by Hagbutt, who couldn't agree with any of the statements below.) > 1. You come to a city for the first time and you: > a. present yourself to the Prince. > e. present a stake to the heart of an important elder. f. I would do none of these things, I'd just enter, do what I like, and then leave later on. Thats' what most Nossies do too. > 2. A hunter corners you in an alley-way, so you: > a. fight for your life. > d. Introduce the hunter to the business end of your > cheese-grater. f. Laugh in his face and spin his head. > 3. Lupines are out to kill you, specifically you. You resolve > this by: > a. getting assistance from your fellow Camarilla members to > eliminate them. > e. getting your pals/pack together and declaring all-out war on > the lupines. f. Ignore them.. Their chances of finding me are minute. If they get to close, involve them in a musical. Or have silver spread over all surfaces in your haven. With little spikes. > 4. A bloodhunt is called on you and you decide to: > b. mysteriously disappear until they call it off. > d. siege the Prince's house...with catapults. f. Get a good buddy to sneak into the Prince's Haven (read: evil minion), vicissitude him to look like me (or what people think I look like) and let the bullyboys do the dirty work. > 5. "Are you the Prince?" > a. No. > e. I'm gonna kill him. f. Yes. (Always say yes. Then when you are, people won't believe you.) > 6. Your preferred blood-type is: > a. human, of course. > e. that of an elder...sometimes lupine blood serves a purpose. f. Faerie blood. > 7. The Sabbat trie to take over the city you're in and you: > d. pick up your mallet, yo-yo, dynamite, and a manhole cover. > Defend your city. > e. help them. f. Try to prolong the fight between the Cammies and the Sabbies so that they have an absolutely outrageous body count. Then kill the winner and claim the city for yourself. Easy as. > 8. Lupines are good for: > c. I hear they're great in the sack. > e. rugs. f. Their blood. Very tradable, very distinctive. > 9. During the last Tremere mind-meld, I: > a. didn't give a shit. > d. ran through the ceremony...screaming and naked. f. practiced my clay pigeon shooting. Quite amusing. > 10. My sire: > c. was a great lover. > e. killed me, buried me, made me dig my way out of the grave, > and clubbed me with a shovel right when I finally got out. f. also sings sea shanties. She's really really dead now. > 11. Do you carry weapons? > e. Of course! What are you? An idiot? f. Only when I've got something particular in mind. Like killing Tony Barber or Glenn Ridge. > 12. "I pull down my pants and you ask me 'Can I blow this?'" > d. "I say 'Yes if you want halitosis!'" f. Sure. Got any dynamite? Or a bit of nitro-glyc? > 13. You're trapped in a room with a Malkavian. You would: > a. ignore them. > e. rend them limb from limb if they annoying. f. Call them a newbie, flame them or use them as a battering ram. Or I'd just play Ludo. > 14. Your philosophy on being a vampire is: > a. we are beasts struggling to retain humanity...may the beast > never succeed. > e. we have become monsters. Why fight it? f. Shit happens. > 15. "When in doubt..." > b. manipulate others to confirm the rightness of your decisions. > e. kill somebody. f. practice singing acapella. > 16. You find a potion that will temporarily restore mortality, > so you: > e. force the Prince to take it and kill him while he's weakened. f. Put it in the cupboard with the HP Sauce and Vegemite. > 17. Your most used phrase is something like: > a. "I see." > e. "Die!" f. "Zhoonk." or "Hmm" on IRC > 18. Do you know GWAR? > a. No. I've been to a concert of theirs once, though. > d. "I'm their fukkin' manager!" f. I'm not sure. Is it made by Games Workshop? > 19. Midgets > a. Short people. > e. Shutup, freak. f. I hate circus midgets. > 20. Do you fear final death? > b. Of course! I will survive at all costs. > e. No. f. Not really, I just prefer Mortal Kombat. Or Virtua Fighter II. > 21. The Justicar accuses you of breaking the Masquerade and you > a. "I'm sorry, but it must be a case of mistaken identity." > d. "HEY! The penguin was asking for it! Look at the way it was > dressed!" f. I'm not a vampire, what are you on about? > 22. The "authorites" (Police, FBI, etc...)) suspect you're a > vampire and you: > a. isolate the individual reponsible for your discovery and > "convince" them they were wrong. > d. lead them on a wild goose-chase and have them end up in the > Prince's house... f. Laugh at then "Are you crazy? Vampires...sheesh." > 23. You find somebody who you would like to make into a vampire, > so you: > b. embrace them, hide them, and ask the Prince a "hypothetical" > question. > d. club them, drag them off to your cave, drive them insane, > THEN embrace them. f. Give them a questionnaire to fill out. Generally one from a magazine like Cosmo. If they get anything other than perfect, they get killed. If they get a perfect score, I give them my personal Vampiric Application Form. (to be released shortly) > 24. Your haven is: > b. expansive yet well-hidden. > purposes. > e. a communal one. f. A large underground cavern with a variety of arcane machines and a Super Nintendo Entertainment System. > 25. Gehenna: > b. is a mindless ploy by our elders to attempt to scare us. > e. must be stopped. Destroy the elders, for they are tools of > the antideluvians. f. Has great merchandizing potential. > 26. Mages are: > a. scary people. > e. not worth bothering with unless they get in my way. f. Mildly amusing at times. > 27. My hobbies are: > b. plotting and scheming to gain prestige. > c. Kind of personal...closed doors kind of stuff(wink).. get it? f. The Viking LRP > 28. The changeling kith you'd probably hang out with would be: > a. Probably any of them. Nosferatu might like the Sluagh. > e. Redcaps. f. I wouldn't. Thats it really. But sidhe can be amusing. > 29. You find Caine and you say: > c. (Male)"You know any really good chicks?"... > (Female)"Heya Baby." > d. "Here, hold this," hand Caine a watermelon, "I just KNEW you > were running a service station in Hermitage, Missouri!" f. Can I interest you in some Florida real estate? > 30. When faced with final death, you will: > b. beg, plead or weasel your way out if possible. > e. not be afraid, but try to take as many down with you as > possible. f. Summon the Candyman > RESULTS > b. Sneaky, plotting, or even business-like kindred. Probably > Ventrue, Tremere, or Giovanni. > d. Nutcase! You're either a Malkavian or otherwise just plain > fucked up! > e. Either a REALLY violent and rebellious Brujah, or a member of > the Sabbat. f. You're Hagbutt, haggity Hagbutt. Well, a bit like Hagbutt anyway. Probably not much, this could just be misinformation. -hagbutt Join Clan Tomato!