The Ventrue Song (Originally by Svend Andersen) (Modified slightly to remove specific character names) (To the tune of "Be our guest", from Beauty and the Beast) (Enter the Ventrue, to female swooning) >Ventrue: Be impressed, be impressed, My entrancement is the best, You must grovel to me constantly or I'll have you oppressed. Biggest man in my clan, All opponents get a tan, Status higher than my sire, (who is now quite dead by fire) All you see, want to be, Close as possible to me, And if you don't love me, I demand "Retest", Though my charm is non-existent, On this point I'm quite insistent, Be impressed, be impressed, be impressed! (segue, while lackeys enter and begin cha-cha'ing behind Ventrue) >Ventrue: Be impressed, be impressed, Surely you don't think I jest! I'll serve anyone who listens to my words with interest. >Lackey#1: Seneschal, loved by all, At his Prince's beck and call. >Lackey #2: Of society he's a pillar. >Ventrue: I support the Camarilla! When afraid, or when paid, I preserve the Masquerade, And you always better do what I suggest. (Malkavian appears from Obfuscate) >Malkavian, mimicking Ventrue: And though others think it's funny, For me it's a coffin full of money. >All: Be impressed, be impressed, be impressed! (All link arms and kick in time, can-can style) >All: Be impressed, be impressed, All our clan is neatly dressed. >Malkavian: And so many are his childer That it comes close to incest. >Ventrue: With support in the court, Evil-wishers come to naught. >Lackey#2: If the situation's wackey This good Ventrue is your lackey. >Lackey#1: The Tremere, All revere, This great man who's standing there, >Lackey#2: And his greatness other clans ne'er contest! >Ventrue: (flexing bicep) And if the Sheriff's a no-show'er >Malkavian: (interrupting) I'm still packing a flame-thrower. >All: Be impressed! Be impressed! Or we'll all be quite depressed! Be impressed! Be impressed! Be impressed. -Mickey.