Okay, we've looked at some of the methods that you potential ruthless world-dominating dictators could utilise in your quest for power and sexual adequacy. Now, it's time we looked at some of the other things you're going to need to take care of, especially in the early stages of the process, as it has to be said that most plans for World Domination fail at an early stage. So, where do you start? Okay, a few things you'll need to get your hands on, and a couple of ideas on how to get hold of them... Today, We'll look at arguably the most important of these: Personnel. --- 1. A Right-Hand Man. Okay, you'll almost always need one of these. You need someone to take care of things, and to provide a helpful scapegoat if everything goes wrong. Look for someone with native cunning, but no real brains -- these guys can be your worst enemy. Good for planning raids on banks, bad for defending your stronghold against the inevitable invasion force of meddling peace-loving busybodies who don't recognise your genius and genetic superiority. These guys should as standard be complete snivelling cowards, possibly with accounting skills, as they save you from having to manage your illegal accounts and free you to concentrate on those press conferences and media tirades which are so fundamental to getting your picture on the evening news. Best recruited while still in their teens -- promise them limitless women for them to whine incessantly about their acne to. 2. Henchmen. These are also an essential item, as they will form the nucleus of your personal protection force. You'll want about a dozen, with 3 lieutenants amongst them who can be better defined, with meaner haircuts and really macho nicknames. A really good idea, if you can organise it, is to have one being a heartless bitch woman that everybody will assume you're sleeping with -- this is a good prestige point at conventions. For the rest, you want blind loyalty and insufficient brains to run away from somebody, even if that person is pointing a rocket launcher at said henchman. Now, upper body development is another thing to look for, good for getting you out of the wreckage of the jeep once it's hit a carelessly placed landmine. For the most part, you'll want to equip these guys with German submachine guns, as nobody who is capable of holding down a nickname should ever die holding anything less. Best recruited at the local gym -- just bribe them with spandex and steroids. Except for said ruthless female killer type -- these, you're on your own for, I'm not saying how I got mine. 3. An army of Ninjas. Okay, now these are definitely in the "Your mileage may vary" category. Some people swear by them, but others think they're a needless expense. They do look really, really cool when they have their co-ordination down, and they can be used very successfully in a reign of terror, particularly in an urban environment. (i.e. an elementary school.) However, having to allocate the space for ninja training grounds isn't always easy, especially if you're trapped in suburbia, and for the most part, these guys are still no more than a distraction, as extensive ninja training is still no match for half a dozen AK-47s on full auto. Best recruited at the local Karate schools -- a good method is to offer them black uniforms instead of the white ones they have to wear, as black ones need less cleaning and most ninjas have appalling personal hygiene (as we all know that ninjas can't swim). 4. A Muslim Horde / Fanatical Tribe of Amazon Warriors, et al. the Fundamentalist Horde is, if possible, even more dodgy than the army of ninjas, yet for some reason is also disturbingly popular. It's easy enough to set yourself up as the "Great White God" or "Mohammed XXIII" and get your own army of fanatical loonies, but they don't tend to be a lot of use, unfortunately. Sure, they tend to be blindly, fanatically loyal, but they also tend to have disturbing habits like refusing to carry "the accursed white man's boomsticks" and wade into combat carrying small ritual gutting spoons, and thus there is a tendency to have a lot of wear-and-tear on fanatical hordes in an operational environment. They also tend to have schisms over what form of oatmeal they will consume and end up slaughtering 85% of your army in a "Porridge Jihad" before you even know what's happening, and you have to clean up the mess and hand out all the second-hand ritual gutting spoons to your new (and, likely as not, even more psychologically disturbed) replacements. Oh, and keep them away from the ninjas -- theological/spiritual debates will also have them reaching for the spoons. Would normally be best recruited in Iraq, but that well seems to have dried up in recent years. The deep Amazon is also a good place to go, but Amazonian headhunters don't travel well, and tend to collapse into a foetal heap at the sight of the sun. Concensus is to steer clear of these guys where possible, unless you want to set up shop in the Desert or a ruined Maya temple, in which case, you do get points for style, while giving yourself logistical problems the likes of which only your Right-Hand-Manú can fix. 5. Goons. You'll need a lot of these, as they are by nature almost as untrained as a Fundamentalist Horde, and they lack the religious fervour which makes the Fanatics any use. Numbers may vary, but try to have at least 50, and preferably 1000 or more. Otherwise, you're likely to be accidentally mistaken for a fringe Vietnam Recreation War-gaming group, and that could lead to PR backlash when you start slaughtering innocents. Now, uniforms are good, but for these guys, it really doesn't matter too much -- white t-shirts, ripped jeans and bandannas are just as good, and denim soaks up blood quite nicely. Harbour no illusions -- these guys are as likely to survive till payday as a Star Trek redshirt. Without the benefit of a piece of fluff saying "I'm sensing hostility" as their final warning of impending disembowelment. In terms of weaponry, give them AK-47s for preference, as these are cheap, loud and look quite menacing when pointed at children. Large serrated knives are a bonus item, but only to those with an equipment-inadequacy problem, as these guys are unlikely to survive long enough to use them, unless they get a chance to hold a pensioner hostage, which (as we all know) invites a bullet to the head anyway, and is thus falling out of favour in all but the most neolithic of goons. Best recruited in pubs -- get them drunk, and they'll in all likelihood join you in return for beer. Obviously, there are more types of personnel -- specialists, for the most part. A Hunchbacked-Assistant is one of the traditional favourites, but is falling out of favour in these days of mass media. Expect to need a PR consultant, a rantwriter, (politicos call these speechwriters, but who ever favoured a speech over a good old-fashioned tirade?) , several blackmailed/brainwashed scientists, a tiger-handler, (don't ask... just don't.) and miscellaneous bints who wander round in revealing white clothing (mainly for decoration and keeping your rivals jealous of you). There are too many to list them all in any detail, but you can get them later on. The above 5 you will need some or all of right from the word go, if you're to get any respect. --- Keep up the subscriptions too. Soldier of Fortune, Fortune 500 and Hooters are all popular publications for the coffee-table of a Demented Genius.