Rejection letter

Here's a funny thing that was in a New Scientist magazine the other month.

Dear Professor <insert name>,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret 
to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an 
assistant professorship in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in recievingan unusually large 
number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of 
candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite <insert name of university> 's outstanding qualifications and 
previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does 
not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of 
assistnt professor in your department this August. 

I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Yours sincerely,
<Insert name>