To Get Rid of Telemarketers:

From: the Ticktockman <tktokman@ix.netcom.com>

asbsa@uaa.alaska.edu wrote:

> Man,I wish i had such creative callers...but here for your enjoyment& my
> pennace for being one of those ones that sell is a nifty list:
> 
>             OF ACTUAL(MORE OR LESS)EXCUSES TO GET THEM AWAY
>             *well not that i don't believe them but just the opposite,
>                                   use sparingly*
> 
>  1. I'm only housesitting here.							And i *summon* you to join me...noW.
>  2. Sorry,I'm just the babysitter.
	Well, the babysitter's dead, but i'm filling iN.  Just don't tell moM.
>  3. TAXES(all i have to say)
	How would you like your mortgage foreclosed and your credit rating
slasheD?
>  4. I'm on a long distance phone call on the other line.
	With a certain friend who knows where you live, where you sleeP.
>  5. You know,Iwas just heading out the door so I really don't have time for this.
	But if you get here soon enough the former occupants no longer have
need of their television, VCR, etC.
>  6. We already donate to 50 charities already.
	Including my very own 'Home for the Homeless PrograM' (which has
single- handedly reduced the number of homeless people in my city by 50%+)
>  7. I'm just a visitor here and the people that live here aren't home.
	Though you could say they are being served for dinner, perhaps you
would like to join theM?
>  8. WE don't donate through the phone.
	Do WE noW?  [NO.] (NopE.) {Hell wit' daT!} *Not uS.* <Try the TremerE.>
>  9. Welp uh..yee haw..we just spent everythang we got building us a new house.
	Built it with the Hatfields /and/ the McCoys, and lemme tell ya, brand
new as it is it's just got such a 'lived-in' feeling to iT.  Now if i 
could just get the bathroom walls to shut uP...
>  10.I'm 83 years old and...a) a cancer patient.
>                            b) retired
>                            c) don't do that anymore.
>			     d) an inhuman, blood drinking predator of the nighT.  				Chess anyonE? 

A vampire just shouldn't have to put up with this sort of thinG...<sigh>

> ok you guys are going to have to get creative on that last one if your not
> actually that old ;).

Some of us are much older than that, WhimsY.  i may even be one of theM.

> ^^^^^^*
>        *      ***Whimsy***
>  @   @*
>     >  *     I come from the land of happy little trees.
> {---

the TicktockmaN

building some new condominiums and a landfill over the land of happy
little trees...