[John Mayall] ------------ Welcome, gentle folk and sick bastages. Yup, you have been unfortunate enough to have opened the sixth part of the (apparently inaccurately named) Prankthology. Yes, that's right, the grand pappy of prank lists. So sit back, grab some lime green jello, pet your potato, and enjoy. And without too much further ado, I bring you the credits... (Oooh, look, lotsa new contributors!) The Baron Donald G. Bixler (Oops da Ogre) Kris Blade Michael Bloch Geoffrey Brent (William Gordon) Deird'Re M. Brooks Victor Brueggemann (Victor) Veronica Bulger Butch (Bostch) Bowyn Carmichael Stella E. Chambrick Richard George Chilton Jonathon Conway Jason D. Corley Lea Crowe Andrew Cruse Joshua E. Culbertson (desnoirs) Ren Cummins (Dark Heart) Raven Darksaint (Raven) Rhiannon Davies Doug DeJulio Gregory Ehrendreich Rosanne Fisher Jerome Fouletier Timothy Frost (Abbot) Andrew Getting Francis Gilbert (Morgan Heart) Benjamin Avery Goldstein Gustev Paul Haggard (John Dowskin) Claire Hipkin Bart Janssens (Floyd) Josh D. K. Barbara Jean Kuehl (Baby Jinx) ML2010 Marc17 (Infodrome) Marok Dr. Manhatten (Cerebrus) Matt Johnny Mayall (Peg Leg Pete) D. McKeeman (Weasel Boy) Morris (The Livewire) Charleen Mullenweg (Lady Tatyana Oberonovich) Andrew C. Murdoch J. Nelson C. Newman (Sableagle) S. J. Nolte Georgina Okerson (Synthea) Oorang (Vinnie the Goon) Ken Pat Gaston Phillips Bill C. Riemers Erik Robbins jetgirl (mistress josephe) Troy Schiemann (The Green Man) Carlo Settineri (Mike Youngblood) Laura Smit (loa lightquencher) Ashley Taft (Ashley) Duke Toma (Guy du Bas-Tyra) Peter Tyson (Dr. Dynamo) Oscar van Vliet Sean Williamson (Othello) Eric M. Willey (v.a.l. aka Mercy) Mandy West (Youphoria) Chelsea Wood Joe Zubkavich (Abraham Walker) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The Prankthology ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: High levels of Dominate, Obfuscate, Vissectitude, and Dementate are highly suggested. 'Course, a good amount of Potence, Fortitude, and Celerity never hurt anyone. Well, not us anyway... Disclaimer the Second: If anyone takes any of this seriously, you are weird. If you don't get help at Charter, get help somewhere. This is all in fun, twisted as it may be. ______________________________________________________________________ 550. Fleshcraft a bunch of weightlifters into looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dominate them into hunting down everyone with the last name of Conner. Make a few more and have them protect the Conners. 551. Hijack a Saturn V Rocket. Fire it at Baghdad. 552. Find one Tremere weaker in the blood than you. Let him know that you are just one generation better than him. Let on that you don't take any security precautions because "nobody's gonna diablerize a kook, are they?". Conspiratally let him know where you live and that you leave your key under the doormat due to your absentmindedness. Oh, and ask him if he has any remedies to counter being extremely lethargic and weak when you wake... Once he's got the idea, make yourself really annoying, just to make sure he wants to diablerize you. Pretend he's your best friend and never leave his side. Play pranks and ask him if he wants to play magic cards. Every ten minutes. Once you've got him sufficiently riled up (your Auspex should help you know when), start yawning and tell him you have to go home to sleep now. Now, get one of those soda-stream machines, various bits of piping, knives, scalpels and so on (this will take a bit of work, or you could just stick a CO2 cylinder in your mouth and open the valve). Carbonate your blood until you can't stand it anymore, and then jump up and down for a half hour. When you here the Tremere at the door, lie down and pretend to be fast asleep. The moment he bites into you... WHOOOOOSH! Fizzy blood all over the room and one confused as hell witch. 553. For fun at those anxious trials, ram a thumbtack into a can of shaving cream and toss it near the lawyers. Offering to shave them yourself is purely optional. Or use a tack and a can of peppermace to spice up those boring Primogen meetings. (p.s. Burma Shave...) 554. Go to the bathroom at a fancy hotel. Eat the urinal deodorants. Come out munching on one and ask the hotel manager if he has any cherry flavored ones. 555. Grab a random mortal and drag them to Lover's Leap. Tell her that you'll jump if she doesn't profess her love for you. Jump before she has the chance to say anything. Claw your way back to the summit and exclaim, "I knew you loved me!". Kiss her passionately and run away. 556. Fun things to do with a launcher capable of firing birds at speeds of 150 mph: a) Stuff a seagull into one and find Dave Winfield. See if he likes how it feels. b) Launch a barrage at a vegetarian's house after dipping them in blood. c) New twist on "Trick or Treat". d) Re-enact the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote (all hail Coyote) sequences on Main Street. e) Launch a fowl from hen house into the farmer's living room with a threat attached. f) New way for terrorists to get past those pesky metal detectors at airports. g) Stress test a cat. h) Go to a shooting range and tell everyone it's the latest in silenced weapons. i) Whack a bystander with one just to see the "Fowl Play" headlines the next day. j) Raining cats and dogs? Wouldn't chickens be more interesting at hypervelocities? k) Launch headless chickens at the houses of voodoo practitioners. l) Two words... live television. m) Douse a chicken in lighter fluid, light it, and launch it onto the stage at a rock concert. n) Kentucky Fried Chicken to gooooooooooooooo! o) Long range enemas. p) A new act for Gonzo. q) New meaning to giving someone the bird. r) A bird in hand is worth two over Busch Gardens? s) Rambo's answer to "Duck, duck, goose". t) Duck Season. Opening Day. Wait on the other side of a duck blind, wait for the fake duck calls, and FIRE! u) Go to an airport. Confuse the hell out of air traffic controllers. v) Drive-by duckings... w) Use the launchers to launch free-range chickens at the protesters around the free-range chicken farms. See how long protesters stay dedicated to saving the ammunition that's sending them to the hospital. x) Anyone seen Pink Floyd? Use the launchers, loaded with chickens, to knock out the pigs Pink Floyd uses in their show. See how many newspapers report "A New Twist on an Old Pink Floyd Theme", which could be subtitled "How many reporters were stoned at the show last night"... y) Take sparrow shots at bird watchers. They'll never look at birds the same way again. z) Go bird hunting. With wirds. aa) Go pheasant hunter hunting with pheasants. bb) Heavy artillery. Ostrich mortars. cc) Shoot one of those people in the "I feel like chicken tonight" commercials with a large hen and see how long they keep their appetite for it. 557. Locate a local vampire hunter. Sneak into his bedroom at night and spread bear traps all over his floor. Now go and howl horrendously in his ear. Obfuscate and watch the little Mexican dancing bean go. 558. (This one requires the ability to go to Arcadia...) Find one Tremere in charge of a chantry. Inform the fellow that you have decided to help the Tremere to further their knowledge by switching out all of their books of rituals with comic books. While the little witch goes off with an ulcer to recheck his security precautions, switch out the books via the Arcadia Express. It's fun to see a grown Tremere cry. 559. One night, sneak onto the Prince's grounds with some gasoline. Using said petrochemical substance, write "Prince ________ Rapes Hamsters" in large letters in the grass. Once the grass dies and the fuming Prince hires some landscapers to replace it, Dominate them into using dandelion seeds instead of grass. (Or draw a nice little picture with the gasoline.) 560. Find one of those cement/concrete cutting machines. Use it to carve insults to the Prince in front of town hall. Now find some of his ghouls (or herd) and leave your initials using their limbs. 561. Grow your hair long, put on a loincloth, and procure a mule's jawbone. No go to a synagogue and accuse them of slander. Give 'em the real story. Use the jawbone and unsuspecting Jews for illustration. 562. Get a _lot_ of alcohol and grab some mortals. No go to a dog kennel and get violently plastered with them, making sure to save a little for the next day. When you next wake with your new buddies, 'convince' them to get a bit 'of the hair of the dog that bit them'. 563. Paint a large red bullseye on a building one night. On the next night, burn that building down. Continue this, eventually targeting favored locations of Primogen members. Now start painting and burning their ghouls and herd. Finally paint a Primogen member. On the next night, while his paranoia runs rampant, hijack a firetruck. Now drive it through his haven and proceed to hose him down. Throw lit matches at him and laugh. 564. Find some kids playing marbles. Use one of your eyes. Deny it. 565. Superglue some frat boys together side by side and fleshcraft them into looking like the Mt. Rushmore Presidents. 566. Find the director/producer of 'First Knight' and beat him. Severely. (Sorry, a little Public Service Announcement snuck in there...) 567. Go to a popular Kindred hangout with a few friends. Bring some toasters and a lot of Pop Tarts (frosted are the best). Now scare the piss out of everyone with Pop Tart flame-throwers. Projectile launching is purely optional. (Thanks to Dave Barry for this one.) 568. Go to McDonald's. Bring back the barter and haggling system. Two dead chickens and a few live rats ought to be at least worth a Big Mac with some fries. 569. Find someone who loves Oreos. Sneak in one night and lick all of the filling off of each cookie. Now replace the missing filling with Elmer's Glue. 570. Find a solitary vampire that fears werewolves. Sneak into his haven while he's away and paint a werewolf face on his bathroom mirror. Next night, scatter lupine teeth, claws, and hair about the house. (Fur clogging the sink and shower drain are nice additions.) Get some friends to howl around his house before he goes to sleep for the day. Keep this up for a few days. Then approach him in friendship (heh, heh) and present him with a wolfskin rug. Tell him it belonged to a werewolf you killed. On the next night, sneak into his house and scrunch yourself into the wolf rug and Obfuscate. Wait 'til he wakes up the next night and walks past the rug. Then jump up and give him a good kick in the behind while snarling and growling. (Bonus points if he passes out.) Run away snarling and slobbering in the rug (after all, you _did_ kill the werewolf, eh?). The next night, dress up in the wolfskin rug and go find the vampire. After he quits screaming and trying to run away, tell him it was all a joke. Give him back the rug. If he takes it well, remember his name for the "sucker" list. If he takes it poorly, do this... Get some friends and find a solitary werewolf. Subdue it. Now drag it to the vamp's house just before he gets back. Then cut up wolfboy so that it will take a few minutes for him to regenerate, stuff him in the wolf rug, and run like hell. 571. Get some females Malks together. Get some traffic cones and dress up like Volaris (and Fleshcraft to look like Madonna). 572. Heat up some quarters with a butane torch at a junior high school. Now throw them on the ground in front of the cafeteria as the lunch bell rings. Or do the same with a pretty ring and drop it in front of a Torry with an affinity for hand jewelry. 573. Experience something very erotic and pleasurable. Now go to a party. See that dancer who thinks she's so cool? Use Chimestry to make her feel _exactly_ what you just felt. Should be quite interesting to see her flop to the floor in the middle of her climax. 574. (Chimestry users only...) Use Horrid Reality to cause a Kindred to feel as if he were at zero blood. 575. (Prank story...) The Prince had just been overthrown, and a Malkavian was put in the position of power. Then a Brujah Archon and Justicar showed up, threatened to call a Blood Hunt on any who left the premises, and interrogated all within, adding a few executions for spice. So much for the Malk Prince. Now a little Ravnos, either bored or deciding that this town was not quite healthy, planted an illusion of Sebastion (the recently deceased Malk Prince) on the Archon. Everyone got very excited (Sebastion?! You're alive!), and the Brujah frenzied. In the ensuing chaos, the Ravnos managed to slip out and was never seen again. Lucky thing, for a Blood Hunt against her still stands. Of course, there is now a permanent illusion of Sebastion standing in the middle of the nightclub. 576. You know those little green Gideon Bibles? Start sneaking them into a prominent location a the Elysium. Every night. Once a few people get upset at this happening, plant a load of Gideon Bibles on some schlep vampire. Now sneak a few into his pockets and "uncover" the Gideonite in the middle of the Elysium. Suggest as punishment superglueing the Bibles to his face. 577. SaranWrap. A Princes Rolls Royce. Ought to be nice after sitting in the sun for a while. (Can anyone say shrink-wrap? I knew you could.) 578. Take someone's keys, stick them in the door lock, and break them off. 579. Right before the Prince gets in his limo for the night, link a chain from his rear axle to his house. (Or better yet a stone statue if he has one.) 580. Find some Torry that has a rose garden he dotes over. Get some seeds from a really ugly looking weed and plant them. Spraypaint the roses a sickly looking yellow and spread some lime in the garden. 581. Use Horrid Reality to make the Elysium door seem locked. But only to the Prince. Should really make that little neonate in front of him awful smug. Create a step that isn't there for those tight-ass Ventrues. 582. Obfuscate. Now create an illusion of yourself as a target. Now create an illusion of someone else to go attack the illusion of you and run away. Now come back as yourself and go confront the person who 'attacked' you. 583. Create illusions of dead Kindred and have them wander around as ghosts. Freak out one of the live vampires by then having a ghostly illusion of himself tell him how he's going to die tomorrow night. 584. Spend the weekend attending all the weddings in your neighborhood. Wear white. (No, no, that doesn't mean go naked...) 585. Get into a crowded elevator. Stand with your back to the door, facing everyone else. Start conversations with everyone. In the middle of one, completely ignore the persons and start talking to someone else. 586. If the elevator isn't so crowded, smile at people and then watch the control display intensely. When the lift begins to go down, gasp in horror, push people out of the way, and tap frantically at the controls. Then scream, "They're jammed!", and force the control box open. Pretend you're James Bond trying to defuse a nuclear device. Take a vote on whether you should cut the red wire or the black wire. Say "ooops" at least once. (Bonus points for stopping on floor 007. Triple bonus points if the building only has six floors.) 587. You know that Ventrue that drives around _everywhere_ in that fancy car? Sneak in one night, put a Vanilla Ice tape in the tapedeck, turn up the volume, and use epoxy glue and rubber cement to make sure the volume stays turned up, the power on, and the tape in. 588. Find a Caitiff that thinks the Prince doesn't like him. Offer to help him out by asking him to deliver a gift to the Prince from you. Tell him that he can say it's actually from himself instead. (The gift is a shirt saying: I joined the Camarilla and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.) 589. Spraypaint a tricksy Mokole purple. Sneak him onto the Barney show. 590. You know those credit card offers you always get with that business reply envelope already paid for? Send them you're tongue. 591. (Only for early risers...) You know that vain little Torry who's always so damned annoying? Use Fleshcraft to give him a face only a Nosferatu mother would love. 592. Establish an alternate identity. Build it up real well, so that every detail is perfect. Then contact the Assimites and take out a contract on your real self. For bonus points, misinform them about your capabilities and kill their assassin. This would be a good time for that alternate identity to vanish. Now the Ass-mites won't ever take out another contract on you again since you've already survived one attempt. Of course, if they find out what you've done, a holiday might be a good idea. Somewhere a long, _long_ way away. The moon, perhaps. 593. Disguise yourself as a Samedi (Obfuscate may be handy here). Go to Toreador parties, and try to get in by telling the bouncer that you are a Torry. When he throws you out, wait about ten minutes. Then try again, wearing a false mustache. Repeat with wig, dark glasses, fetching mini-skirt, shaved nose hair, and so on. On no account should the disguises be convincing. When the bouncer finally gives up and lets you in (or frenzies, forcing you to kill him and getting in anyway), wander about and act just like a Toreador. Tell everyone it's performance art (which it is, in a way). If you are feeling really brave, try the same thing at a werewolf moot - but use a werewolf skin as your disguise. Make sure your medical insurance is paid up. 594. Get into merchant banking, arms dealing, drug dealing, or some such profitable enterprise. Use your supernatural powers to turn huge profits. Become Chairman of the board, cartel boss, or whatever. Then adopt a cute red-headed girl called "Annie" and wander around singing happily. Donate all of the funds you can get a hold of to charity, explaining that there's more to life than business. Save a couple thousand for a ticket to South America. 595. Sneak into a zoo at night. Find a lone gorilla, shave him completely except for a couple of hairs on his head, and paint him entirely yellow. Superglue some briefs on if you can. If you can find a baby gorilla with a spiky haircut all the better. 596. Go to an all night supermarket. Find someone who's shopping with a child in the cart. Wait until the shopper's back is turned, quickly replace the kid with a doll, and run like hell (duct taping the kid's mouth shut is highly recommended). Now take the kid to the candy section and start superglueing candy to him. Let him go once the hysterical mother comes near. 597. (This requires two pranksters...) Find a vampire that enjoys watching TV. Now have one of the two Malks sneak in a sit Obfuscated in the room that the vampire is watching television in. Now, using a cellular phone, have the other Obfuscated Malk call the vampire's phone. Once the vamp gets up to answer the phone, very quickly have the Malkavian inside switch the channel to MTV. Keep this up all night. (Best if you bring one of those universal remotes and program it on site.) 598. Nab a chef at a fancy restaurant and use Vissectitude to look just like him. Now do your damnedest to actually cook a good meal. Insert pieces of your anatomy for spice. When the patrons complain, come out and refuse to speak English or any other recognizable language. Call them liars and moon them. (Especially fun at restaurants the Prince or Primogen like to hang out at.) 599. Fleshcraft yourself into JFK. Now go roll in some flour. Sneak into the bedrooms of high ranking army and CIA officials and do the Jacob Marley bit. 600. Use Chimestry to make a Gangrel's Gleam of the Red Eyes permanent. Especially in front of mortals. Or put a big red glowing bulls-eye on the back of somebody who has just torked you off. Snipers? Ooops. 601. Dominate a black metal band (or bad ass gansta rappers) into acting like the Brady Bunch on a festival. (Fleshcrafting them into actual likenesses entirely optional.) Bonus points if the crowd eats them alive. 602. Find a Gangrel that Earth Melds every day. Now go cover up the spot with a bunch of boards with bricks on top. 603. Sneak into a grocery store at night with a sack full of apples. Now very carefully peel a bunch of oranges and take out the insides, replacing them with the apples and some glue. 604. Dress up like Thor (the Thunder God). Grab a rubber mallet and a tazer. Go to a church and press your claim as top deity. Give examples of divine smiting and lightning bolts to non- believers. Declare Heineken as holy water. 605. Find a false eye shop. Slip in a few real ones. 606. High diving competition. From the top of office buildings. 607. Dress up (and Fleshcraft) to look like that little old man that is the Monopoly mascot. Now Obfuscate and sneak into a bank, replacing real money with Monopoly money. (Should be some interesting security film, eh?) 608. Movement of the Mind. Multiple roulette tables. One shut down casino. 609. Lure of the Flames. A basketball game. 'Hot Potato'. 610. Find out where a keg party will occur. Now follow the little frat boys that go for the kegs. Once they've bought the beer, stop them. While keeping them oblivious (through Dominate or a lead pipe to the head), replace the beer with urine (that you got form a hospital or drug rehab center, of course). Label the keg 'Bud Light' and see if anyone actually notices. (All hail Guinness! Guinness rue da wold!) 611. Dress up like coal miners. Go to the dinosaur exhibit at the museum. Hiho, hiho, it's off to work we go... 612. Get some buddies and dress up like Spock, ears and all. Go to a mall and start giving Vulcan Death Grips (tm) to shoppers. When that doesn't work, start using pepper mace, tear gas, and tazers. Smile a lot at the cameras while proclaiming how much emotions suck. 613. Find one of those 'Sunglass Hut' stalls in the mall. Sneak in at night and paint the inside of each lens with black paint. Now go to a real eyeglasses shop (Pearl, Eye Doctor, TSO, etc.) and randomly switch a lens from each sample pair. 614. TP roll the Prince's house. Do it again the next night. Use duct tape. 615. Find a Gangrel that Earth Melds each day. Have some of your ghouls dig him up during the day (but keep him covered) and relocate him. In a sewer tank would be nice. If you're feeling frisky, have them bury him in the same spot upside-down. 616. Sneak onto a golf course one night and set a few tiger traps and snares in the woods. Landmines are purely optional. 617. Find one werewolf. Subdue and manacle him (with silver if need be). Now chain him to a pickup truck and start dragging him through town, ramming the television station. See how well the Delerium affects TV cameras. 618. Fleshcraft yourself to look and sound _exactly_ like some cagey vampire. Start following him around everywhere. Mimic his every action and word. When he starts acting crazy with rage in front of others, act calmly. Now approach the Prince and demand that the stupid Malkavian impersonating you be punished. 619. Steal one of those 'Human Cannonball' circus cannons. While the Primogen and Prince are meeting somewhere, start launching tied- up vampires through the ceiling with petitions for more tartar sauce stapled to their foreheads. Also useful for helping it rain cats and dogs. 620. Fleshcraft. RuPual. See how he _really_ likes being a woman. 621. Hook up a live electrical lead (with switch) to a basketball rim before a big game. First mega-dunk ought to be fairly spectacular. 622. Using Dementate, give a stereotypical Brujah an irrational fear of violence. Now go bully him in front of his Clan Elder. 623. Get a bunch of Malkavian buddies. Find a Toreador art party (preferably one that has a lot of mortals in attendance). Arm yourselves with dead cats (freshly dipped in neon purple paint) and 'decorate' the Torries. (In honor of Ashley, winner of this year's Asphalt Impersonation Award.) 624. Get a bunch of old chewed up nuts and bolts. Now go to an amusement park and drop them off during a ride. Beaning considered bad form. 625. Use Fleshcraft to give Ahnold (or Newt Gingrich) a nice sexy soprano voice. 626. Use Chimestry to pull wonderful things out of your pockets (ala The Mask or any cartoon) during a conclave meeting. Use it to simulate some aspects of Thaumaturgy. Blame the Tremere. Have a Brujah hit you _very_ hard and use that for some Horrid Reality jokes. Especially on unsuspecting Toreadors in the middle of a song. Create illusions of someone else's voice to say incriminating things. Walk up behind someone and create an illusion (feel only) of a gun sticking in their back. Tell them to stick their hands up and watch the funny looks they get from observers. Wave around nude photos of the Primogen. Hand out one dollar bills that look like fifties. Steal someone's TV and replace it with a permanent illusion. Then do the same with their recliner. 627. Create UFOs (with Chimestry) and have them land with messages for the Malkavians. Create Archangels and have _them_ land with messages for the Malkavians. 628. Shake the Prince's hand, and when you let go, let him see the illusion of his watch on your wrist. And put one on his, too. See if he gets confused. Try and sell it back to him if you're feeling ballsy. 629. Find one relatively weak Nosferatu. Now go nab him and wrap his entire body in duct tape, leaving only his face exposed. Go hoist him from the flagpole at town hall and call the cops. 630. Use Dominate and Dementate to form a new clan of creatures. Tell them they are were-lemmings and that they reproduce by biting hands. Give them a derangement that forces them to leap into any body of water they can find on a full moon. 631. Invade a high school. Find the most annoying freshman and duct tape him to a light pole about ten feet off of the ground. Tell the faculty in the form of a rumor. Usually takes them a while to check into it... 632. Get together your favorite group of "werelemmings" at a science fiction/fantasy convention. Storm the Klingon contingent with teeth set to stun. 633. (For Samedi...) Create some zombies and summon some ghosts. Now take your entourage to a large funeral home. Find the proprietor and complain. Warn patrons about the sloppy service, using yourself as example. Have the zombies raise a hand in agreement and the ghosts appear (and embody...), saying "Yeah! You tell 'em!". 634. Fleshcraft yourself into Judge Ito. Go into the courtroom with the largest rubber mallet you can find. Pull it out after the lawyers start arguing and beat the living bejesus out of them all. Ask if anyone else wishes to present any arguments. 635. Sneak into a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses and glue copies of the Book of Mormon to the pews. Next Saturday, glue copies of the Watchtower to the pews in a nearby Mormon church. Repeat the process, this time with Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons, instead of their books. 636. Fleshcraft a bunch of ghouls into Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and their wives. Go to Salt Lake City and take over the television station. Have ole "Joe" claim it was just a joke and that he is now a Branch Davidian. 637. Dominate Marie Osmond into thinking she is Tracy Lords. Lights, camera, action! 638. Reunite the Osmonds. With superglue. Give to a Toreador. 639. Dress up as BATF agents and raid a Catholic church. Seize the wine and say that the federal taxes haven't been paid on it. Finish by burning the church to the ground. 640. (For the suicidal Malk...) Sneak into the Vatican. Embrace the Pope. Run. 641. Hijack a plane. Toss out the crew. Let the passengers take turns landing the plane. Shoot those who fail. Now land the plane and sneak back into the airport. Find the luggage area. Now find some large luggage headed for some exotic location and put yourselves in it. Should be some interesting expression when that honeymoon couple in Acapulco finds out that their swimsuits don't quite fit anymore... 642. Spread a rumor of an impending lupine invasion. Make sure the Prince and the Primogen here about it. Then organize a jail break of every pet store and dog pound in town. Bonus points if you can herd them all to the Prince's house. 643. Get up early one night. Do some special decorating of the communal haven and have a tape deck play some interesting sounds. Should be quite interesting when the group wakes up to hear and "see" flames all around them. If some Brujah were to get upset, and let's say... machine gun the tape player, buy a new tape player and have the next night's awaking music be the sounds of automatic gunfire. See if the others learn. 644. Dominate some local teenagers into going cow tipping. At a goat farm. 645. Dominate the night watchman at some store into reciting "I'm a little tea pot..." until someone finds him in the morning. 646. Find some collector who has a restored WWII Japanese Zero. Now go paint a big red and white target on the Princes garage and Dominate the Zero pilot into crashing into it. 647. Find one of the Prince's favorite childe. Nab 'im. Now go cross-country, taking pictures of the staked vampire in famous places (Brooklyn Bridge, Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Statue of Liberty, Seattle Needle, Mount Rushmore, etc.). Send the body and the pictures back via UPS. 648. Ambush a Justicar's pilot. Dominate him into forgetting how to fly in the middle of the flight. 649. (For a Malk with extremely high Celerity...) Wait until someone turns their back on you. Repaint the front of their house (in your favorite colors, of course) as quickly as possible. This really traumatizes Toreadors, so be prepared to run as fast as you paint. 650. Get a yo-yo with a really long string. Dip the round part in alcohol or lighter fluid and get on the roof of some vampire's house above his door. when he come out, light the yo-yo and show him your stuff. 651. (Only got very good Fleshcrafters...) Imperonsate the local Chantry Head of the Tremere. Go order all of the Archons present to castrate themselves. Help. 652. Practice obscene faxing from the Prince's machine. 653. Using Fleshcraft and Bonecraft, take out a the eye of some mortal's head and forcibly stick it onto a Tremere's forehead. Now Dominate him into forgetting the incident and send his off to the Chantry... 654. Dominate the local news anchor into quoting from the Book of Nod during a live broadcast. 655. Convince your friendly neighborhood Brujah combat monster that he's the Tick. Make a Tremere with Movement of the Mind think he's Arthur. Give them costumes and a mission. 656. (For the discriminating Gangrel...) Find some schlep who's been hassling or irritating you. Offer to share your haven with him as a gesture of friendship. A few minutes before sunrise, take him to a clearing in the middle of a park. Earth Meld. If you see him again (ie: he survives), ask him how he liked your haven. 657. Manage to get a hold of a little blood from a Primogen member the Prince (and you) don't like. Using this blood, go create a new vampire with it. Go to the Prince claiming you saw the Primogen member create an unauthorized childe with directions as to where the patsy can be found. 658. Trick the IRS into auditing the Price's accounts for the past five years. But first Dominate his accountant and give him some interesting ideas... 659. Have a bunch of jewelry made with minute explosives in them (remotely detonated). Have them all given to a Toreador from a known admirer. (Include necklaces, earrings, watches, rings, bracelets, hair pins, anklets, etc.) Wait until the Torry is in the middle of some public art dedication or some such and flip the switch. Should be one nicely barbecued little Toreador. 660. Make an invisible rabbit friend called Harvey. Periodically, Dominate some of your more week willed friends into having memories of Harvey coming to the rescue. After a while, you should have a nice little group of people who believe in Harvey the Wonder Rabbit. They just think he's good at Obfuscating, too... ______________________________________________________________________ -Peg Leg Pete, going home to take a nap...