-----------------------------------------------------------------------
        I'm back.  With more.  What can I say... I was bored in 
class.  Besides, I wouldn't want to disappoint Oops and have a potato 
head sent to me in the mail...  Oh, another thing... I'm still 
compiling the Prankthology, so anyone out there with any sort of 
prank, please send it to me at: ac51@jove.acs.unt.edu.  Thanks.  And now 
on to our regularly scheduled bowel movement...

        Pranklympics, Part Oh Dear God, He's Back With More...
----------------------------------------------------------------------

211. Find a somewhat small town.  Just before dusk, have a bunch of 
     ghouls very quickly build a small wall in the middle of the 
     main street.  Include rolled razor wire and spotlights.  
     When the sun sets, come out dressed like post WWII East German 
     soldiers.  Start screaming in German (or just sound harsh and 
     use a lot of phlegm) at the curious  bystanders and open fire.  
     No one must cross the Berlin Wall.  (When no one else will come 
     near enough to drill, label some of your more unobservant 
     buddies as capitalist sypathizing traitors...)

212. Get a couple of friends and some tow trucks.  Declare a ritzy 
     valet parking garage a no parking zone.  Whap valet attendants 
     on the noggins with the "No Parking" signs you ripped out of the 
     ground on the way there if they argue.  Tow the offending 
     vehicles to the police impound lot.

213. ...or if you can't get the two trucks, carve a parking violation 
     ticket onto each car's hood with a knife and superglue "No 
     Parking" signs to the windshields.

214. Sneak into a local grocery store after hours.  Peel a bunch of 
     bananas.  Glue the peels back onto the banana-shaped plastique 
     you brought and put the produce on the bottom of the pile.  Have 
     ghouls with camcorders in place the next day.

215. Get a bunch of nasty, preferably rabid, pitbulls.  Go to a very 
     fancy restaurant.  Declare all diners as trespassing on your 
     land.  Release the hounds.

216. A "JUGGS" baseball throwing machine.  A couple of bags full of 
     potatoes.  A crowded movie theater.  Multiple concussions, much 
     blunt trauma, and lots of giggles.

217. One commandeered garbage truck filled to the brim.  The state 
     legislature building.  Explain that you're only trying to 
     consolidate the location of all the trash.

218. Find out where someone is doing a shark documentary.  Glue a 
     fake dorsal fin on your back and a big row of souvinere shark 
     teeth on your mouth.  See how much film coverage you can get 
     when you attack another shark with a fireman's axe.

219. A crowded whirlpool at a health club.  A juiced-up cattle prod.  
     Lot of neat new hairdos.

220. Think dynamite fishing.  Now think dynamite cattle herding.

221. Get a mobile anti-aircraft gun.  Go to a busy airport.  Declare 
     duck season open.

222. Steal a baby elephant.  Make it watch a certain Disney movie.  
     Hope it has learned quickly as you launch it off of the Sears 
     Tower.

223. Fleshcraft someone to look like Bill Clinton.  Strip him naked 
     and superglue frozen waffles all over his body.  Drop him off in 
     front of the Senate Building during session.  Dominate him into 
     going inside screaming "I never inhaled!  Really!".

224. Watch TV all night and write down the address of every frivilous 
     lawyer who advertises.  The next night, visit each one and 
     superglue a whiplash neckbrace onto him.  Damn weasels...

______________________________________________________________________

        Wow, two sets in one night!  Happy, happy, joy, joy!

             Pranklympics, Part V.a.l.'s Amazing Lipstick
----------------------------------------------------------------------
225. Find a place that sells firewood.  Buy a bunch of it.  Now douse 
     it in gasoline and light it.  Argue with proprieter that he 
     never stipulated anything about location...

226. Steal a grizzly bear.  Superglue a forest ranger hat on his 
     head, a can of gasoline in one had, and a zippo in the other.  
     Let 'em loose near the fire station.

227. Sneak into a grocery store after hours again.  Superglue worms 
     to every apple.

228. A baseball bat, some grenades, and a marching band at a parade.  
     Bonus points for floats.

229. Tie someone to some railroad tracks.  Dress up like Superman.  
     Stand on the tracks and try and stop the train from smushing the 
     poor sap.  Bonus points for good hang time.

230. (This one may take a lot of work...)  Build a _very_ large 
     mousetrap (lifesize).  Now fleshcraft some sucker into looking 
     like a huge rat.  (You may need some grey spraypaint here.)  Arm 
     the trap and throw ratboy on it.  Now relocate the filled trap 
     to the lawn in front of the Senate.  Spraypaint "You're Next" on 
     the sidewalk.

231. Get yourself hit by a bus.  Struggle feebly on the gorund.  When 
     the paramedics arrive, feign a slow heartbeat.  Once at the 
     hospital, wait til they put you under (heh, heh) and begin 
     operating.  Open your eyes and give helpful pointers to the 
     doctors.

232. Set up one of those super slingshot launchers behind a drive-in 
     movie screen.  Think car batteries.

233. Rip out your eyeballs before sleeping one day.  The following 
     night, take them and superglue them on the front door of town 
     hall.  Carve "Big Brother Is Watching" on the door.

234. Go to a boating show.  Get a jetski and a box of dynamite.  
     Destroy the evil Spanish Armada.

235. Go to a basketball game.  Find a very hidden spot in the 
     rafters.  Have a sniper rifle with a big scope, a good silencer, 
     and a flash supressor.  See how many three pointers you can gun 
     down halfway there.  Shooting the players is considered bad 
     form.

236. Go to a journalist convention.  Demonstrate to them the _real_ 
     meaning of decimation.

237. Go to an unemployment office during a busy time.  Rob it just 
     for the confused expressions you'll get.

238. Go to a suicidal feelings help group.  Halfway into the session, 
     pull out a gun and shoot yourself in the head.  Put it away and 
     tell everyone you feel much better.  See how many people still 
     stay.  Bonus points if you can get someone to help you pick up 
     your brains.

239.  A porcupine in each fist.  A mosh pit.  'Nuff said.

240. (Only for the _truly_ sick and perverted male pranksters...)  
     Cutt off your tallywhacker.  (Don't worry, it'll grow back...)  
     Superglue a live garder snake in it's place.  Go to a doctor 
     telling him you have a small problem...

241. Find a lone werewolf.  With some friends, restrain him somehow.  
     Now immolate him.  Take the ashes and put them in a desk at the 
     local TV station.  Imagine the suprised looks when furbutt 
     regenerates in a mildly irritated frame of mind.  (Did I just 
     open a door to portable werewolf bombs?...)

______________________________________________________________________

        Once more into the breach, faithful fans and innocent 
bystanders...

             Pranklympics, Part On The Left Side Please, Barber...
______________________________________________________________________

242. Find one of those dumbass stock ponds.  At night, catch a bunch 
     of the fish, ghoul 'em, stick some explosives into them, and let 
     'em back in the water.  Let those idiots who think stock fishing 
     is a sport find a big suprise the next day.  (Fishing with a 
     spear or one of those accursed fly rods... now that's sport.)

243. Take one C-5 Galaxy military transport plane.  (Thanks v.a.l.)  
     Load it to overflowing with pigs.  Head for the Mid-East.  Fly 
     over some mosques and synogogues... porks away!

244. Get on a plane with a parachute in your backpack.  Bring a 
     military duffle full of more chutes.  Halfway into the flight, 
     put yours on.  When people ask, tell them the pilot is about to 
     suffer from some dehibilitating accident and hand out the 
     parachutes to the highest bidders.  Stuff any protesting flight  
     attendants into the duffle.  Go shoot the pilot and crew and put 
     one thorugh the cockpit just for good measure.  Now go follow 
     everyone who's jumping out.  On the way down, practice your 
     aerial marksmanship on the other chutists.  (Yes, I know... This 
     one's just plain mean.)

245. Go to an indoor firing range.  Sneak downrange to where the 
     targets are.  Stand up and take the place of one of the targets. 
     Get offended when they tag you and return fire.  The ensuing 
     chaos should be quite amusing.

246. Declare yourself a religious messiah and get some followers.  
     Act _real_ hypocritically.  Shoot whoever's stupid enough to 
     still follow you.  (Actually, this one could show up on the 
     "Good Deed For Society" list...)

247. Find some uptight Brujah.  Steamroll them from the waist down.  
     Toss the frenzying torsos into a local police precinct or 
     televison station.  Watch the news the following night for 
     laughs.

248. A bulldozer.  A modern art sculpture.  A passed out Toreador.  
     (Too easy.)

249. Put some concrete shoes on a local, well-knon vampire and throw 
     him into a swimming pool.  Now place a "live" electrical cord 
     into the pool.  Call the news and cops, hide, and see how he 
     tries to get out of this one.

250. Set a very large building very much on fire.  While the 
     firefighters are busy, paint the entire interior (furniture and 
     anyone left behind included) of the firehouse white with black 
     spots.

251. Spraypaint a _lot_ of hamsters neon purple.  Release them on the 
     grounds of a nuclear research facillity.  Call a news team.

252. Tar and feather a handful of Nosferatu.  Sneak into a basball 
     stadium during a night game and force them onto the field.  
     Chase 'em around with cattle prods until the police come out.  
     Then Obfuscate and run.

253. Sneak into a music store at night.  Steal every "GreenDay" (or 
     insert your favorite psycho band here) album and spraypaint on 
     the floor:  "Evidence impounded for violation of clan secrecy 
     act."

254. Get a _whole lot_ of rats.  Spraypaint them all yellow.  Put 
     them in a truck and release them next to the wave pool at a 
     water park.  Start announcing on the PA the proper methods of 
     repelling a lemming invasion.  (Thanks, v.a.l.)

255. Get Bigfoot (the truck).  Go mudding.  Substitute the crowd at a 
     skinhead rally for mud.

256. Just for kicks, find some Dungeons and Dragons players and 
     fleshcraft them into exact likenesses of their characters.  
     (Dwarves are the most fun...)

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yep, after a few requests, I came up with some more pranks.  So without 
too 
much further ado, I give you...

                Pranklympics, Part Forfenschlackle
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

257. On Valentine's Day, dress up like Cupid.  Use real arrows and 
enforce 
     your choice of love interests through liberal use of superglue.

258. Cement snowmen in front of town hall.

259. One KKK member.  A fifty gallon drum of honey.  A couple of 
beehives.  
     The forty yard dash.

260. Think rodeo.  Think dogie-tying.  Now think big, annoying, purple 
     dinosaurs.

261. Go to a militent feminist rally.  Superglue frilly lace bras to 
their 
     foreheads and herd/chase a bunch of them to a Victoria's Secret store.

262. Get one rolled up magazine.  Walk down a crowded New York street and 
     randomly whack people on the nose, saying "Bad dog!"

263. Play "pin the tail on the donkey" with a real donkey.  And a staple gun.

264. Paint big yellow smiley faces on each manhole in a big city.

265. Go to a crowded pool hall.  Play marbles with the pool balls and use 
     the sticks to fence for the last marble.

266. Go to a news convention.  Spraypaint a pentegram in the middle of 
the 
     floor.  Start chanting incoherently and then turn into a "demon" (
     Obfuscate or Vissectitude will work well).  See how many journalists 
     actually stick around to hear the retelling of your troubled 
childhood 
     in Hades.

267. Know anyone who says, "Wild horses couldn't drag me away!"?  Prove 
them 
     wrong.

268. Get a bag full of multicolor neon spraypaint and find the Lippizano 
     Stallions.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, classes have started again.  And yes, I got bored again.  So those 
of 
you with enough dead brain cells can read this now.  So I bring you...

                The Pranklympics, Part Stop, Drop, and Roll
_____________________________________________________________________________

269. Find one of those cement/concrete cutting machines.  Use it to carve 
     insults to the Prince in front of town hall.  Now find some of his 
     ghouls (or herd) and leave your initials using their limbs.

270. Grow your hair long, put on a loincloth, and procure a mule's 
jawbone.  
     No go to a sysnagogue and accuse them of slander.  Give 'em the real 
     story.  Use the jawbone and unsuspecting Jews for illustration.

271. Get a _lot_ of alcohol and grab some mortals.  No go to a dog kennel 
     and get violently plastered with them, making sure ot save a little 
for 
     the next day.  When you next wake with your new buddies, 'convince' 
     them to get a bit 'of the hair of the dog that bit them'.

272. Paint a large red bullseye on a building one night.  On the next 
night, 
     burn that building down.  Continue this, eventually targeting 
favored 
     locations of Primogen members.  Now start painting and burning their 
     ghouls and herd.  Finally paint a Primogen member.  On the next 
night, 
     while his paranoia runs rampant, hijack a firetruck.  Now drive it 
     through his haven and procede to hose him down.  Throw lit matches 
at 
     him and laugh.

273. Find some kids playing marbles.  Use one of your eyes.  Deny it.

274. Superglue some frat boys together side by side and fleshcraft them 
into 
     looking like the Mt. Rushmore Presidents.

275. Find the director/producer of 'First Knight' and beat him.  
Severely.  
     (Sorry, a little Public Service Announcement snuck in there...)

276. Go to a popular Kindred hangout with a few friends.  Bring some 
     toasters and a lot of Pop Tarts (frosted are the best).  Now scare 
the 
     piss out of everyone with Pop Tart flamethrowers.  Projectile 
launching 
     is purely optional.  (Thanks to Dave Barry for this one.)

277. Go to McDonald's.  Bring back the barter and haggling system.  Two 
dead 
     chickens and a few live rats ought to be at least worth a Big Mac 
with 
     some fries.

278. Find someone who loves Oreos.  Sneak in one night and lick all of 
the 
     filling off of each cookie.  Now replace the missing filling with 
     Elmer's Glue.

279. Find a solitary vampire that fears werewolves.  Sneak into his haven 
     while he's away and paint a werewolf face on his bathroom mirror.  
Next 
     night, scatter lupine teeth, claws, and hair about the house.  (Fur 
     clogging the sink and shower drain are nice additions.)  Get some 
     friends to howl around his house before he goes to sleep for the 
day.  
     Keep this up for a few days.  Then approach him in friendship (heh, 
     heh) and present him with a wolfskin rug.  Tell him it belonged to a 
     werewolf you killed.  On the next night, sneak into his house and 
     scrunch yourself into the wolf rug and Obfuscate.  Wait 'til he 
wakes 
     up the next night and walks past the rug.  Then jump up and give him 
a 
     good kick in the behind while snarling and growling.  (Bonus points 
if 
     he passes out.)  Run away snarling and slobbering in the rug (after 
     all, you _did_ kill the werewolf, eh?).  The next night, dress up in 
     the wolfskin rug and go find the vampire.  After he quits screaming 
and 
     trying to run away, tell him it was all a joke.  Give him back the 
     rug.  If he takes it well, remember his name for the "sucker" list.  
If 
     he takes it poorly, do this... Get some friends and find a solitary 
     werewolf.  Subdue it.  Now drag it to the vamp's house just before 
he 
     gets back.  Then cut up wolfboy so that it will take a few minutes 
for 
     him to regenerate, stuff him in the wolf rug, and run like hell.
____________________________________________________________________________
Must have... sleep... need... rapid... eye... movement... cursed 
vivarin... 
die... devilsapwn...

Without many more babblings, I bring you...
            The Pranklympics, Part Untagleebanglobangloben
_____________________________________________________________________________

280. Sneak into a grocery store at night with a sack full of apples.  Now 
     very carefully peel a bunch of oranges and take out the insides, 
     replacing them with the apples and some glue.

281. Dress up like Thor (the Thunder God).  Grab a rubber mallet and a 
     tazer.  Go to a church and press your claim as top diety.  Give 
     examples of divine smiting and lightning bolts to non-believers.  
     Declare Heineken as holy water.

282. Find a false eye shop.  Slip in a few real ones.

283. High diving competition.  From the top of office buildings.

284. Dress up (and Fleshcraft) to look like that little old man that is 
the 
     Monopoly mascot.  Now Obfuscate and sneak into a bank, replacing 
real 
     money with Monopoly money.  (Should be some interesting security 
film, 
     eh?)

285. Movement of the Mind.  Multiple roulette tables.  One shut down casino.

286. Lure of the Flames.  A basketball game.  'Hot Potato'.

287. Find out where a keg party will occur.  Now follow the little frat 
boys 
     that go for the kegs.  Once they've bought the beer, stop them.  
While 
     keeping them oblivious (through Dominate or a lead pipe to the 
head), 
     replace the beer with urine (that you got form a hospital or drug 
rehab 
     center, of course).  Label the keg 'Bud Light' and see if anyone 
     actually notices.  (All hail Guinness! Guinness rue da wold!)

288. Dress up like coal miners.  Go to the dinosaur exhibit at the 
museum.  
     Hiho, hiho, it's off to work we go...

289. Get some buddies and dress up like Spock, ears and all.  Go to a 
mall 
     and start giving Vulcan Death Grips (tm) to shoppers.  When that 
     doesn't work, start using pepper mace, tear gas, and tazers.  Smile 
a 
     lot at the cameras while proclaiming how much emotions suck.

290. Find one of those 'Sunglass Hut' stalls in the mall.  Sneak in at 
night 
     and paint the inside of each lens with black paint.  Now go to a 
real 
     eyeglasses shop (Pearl, Eye Doctor, TSO, etc.) and randomly switch a 
     lens from each sample pair.

291. TP roll the Prince's house.  Do it again the next night.  Use duct tape.

292. Find a Gangrel that Earth Melds each day.  Have some of your ghouls 
dig 
     him up during the day (but keep him covered) and relocate him.  In a 
     sewer tank would be nice.  If you're feeling frisky, have them bury 
him 
     in the same spot upside-down.

293. Sneak onto a golf course one night and set a few tiger traps and 
snares 
     in the woods.  Landmines are purely optional.

294. Find one werewolf.  Subdue and manacle him (with silver if need 
be).  
     Now chain him to a pickup truck and start dragging him through town, 
     ramming the television station.  See how well the Delerium affects 
TV 
     cameras.

295. Fleshcraft yourself to look and sound _exactly_ like some cagey 
     vampire.  Start following him around everywhere.  Mimic his every 
     action and word.  When he starts acting crazy with rage in front of 
     others, act calmly.  Now approach the Prince and demand that the 
stupid 
     Malkavian impersonating you be punished.

296. Steal one of those 'Human Cannonball' circus cannons.  While the 
     Primogen and Prince are meeting somewhere, start launching tied-up 
     vampires through the ceiling with petitions for more tartar sauce 
     stapled to their foreheads.  Also useful for helping it rain cats 
and 
     dogs.

297. Fleshcraft.  RuPual.  See how he _really_ likes being a woman.

298. Hook up a live electrical lead (with switch) to a basketball rim 
before 
     a big game.  First mega-dunk ought to be fairly spectacular.

299. Using Dementate, give a stereotypical Brujah an irrational fear of 
     violence.  Now go bully him in front of his Clan Elder.

300. Get a bunch of Malkavian buddies.  Find a Toreador art party 
     (prefferably one that has a lot of mortals in attendance).  Arm 
     yourselves with dead cats (freshly dipped in neon purple paint) and 
     'decorate' the Torries.  (In honor of Ashley, winner of this year's 
     Asphalt Impersonation Award.)

301.  There is no '301'.  My brain needs a nap.  Go away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Didn't know I was this quick, did ya?

                The Pranklympics, Part Ham Sam'ich
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

301. (Okay, so I lied.  There is a number '301'.)  Get a few friends and 
     dress up _real_ nice.  Now find a fancy restaurant that the Prince 
or a 
     Primogen member frequents regularly (must be the atmosphere, eh?).  
Try 
     and get a table as close to him as possible.  If you can, try to get 
     his attention just as your meal is being served.  (Bonus points for 
a 
     look of fear or a gasp.)  Commence chowing down and projectile 
     vomiting.  See if you can get your money back.  As you leave, 
     compliment the chef and tell the vampire dignitary that you'll see 
him 
     again tomorrow night.

302. Dress up like Judge Dredd, machine gun and all.  Go to a state 
     penitentiary.  Ease prison crowding.  Bonus points for best 
rendition 
     of "I am the law!" as the cops drag you off.

303. Bring back public slave auctions.  Shoe polish yourself if you're 
too 
     pale and get a whip.  Now get some buddies with shackles and raid 
the 
     nearest Ku Klux Klan meeting.

304. Go to a chicken farm with a chainsaw.  Find out what 'run around 
like a 
     bunch of chickens with their heads cut off' really means.

305. Dress up in a gorilla suit.  Find one of those street entertainers 
with 
     the music box and one of those silly ass spider monkeys.  Punish the 
     slave driver and free your brethren.  Then offer to replace the 
monkey 
     for cheap rates.

306. (Only for early risers...)  A sleeping Gargoyle.  Grafitti.

307. Start up a jackhammer near a Gargoyle to see if he'll frenzy.  (If 
he 
     doesn't, you might as well.  I mean, you _did_ pay for a brand new 
     jackhammer, didn't you?)

308. If another vampire insults you, procure a glove ot smack him with.  
     (Works best with Torries and Ventrues.)  Rear back, but don't hit 
him.  
     Look thoughtfully at the glove and drop it.  Then take out a knife, 
cut 
     off your own hand, and smack him with that.

309. Have fun with airport security.  Cut a hole in your side, stuff some 
     ball bearings in, and close the cut.  Stuff your pockets full of 
keys (
     prefferably others') and make a big production of taking them out 
one 
     at a time at the metal detector.  Five minutes and several 
frustrated 
     security officers and line-waiters later,  tell them that it must be 
     your old war wound.  Then reach in and pull out the ball bearings, 
     putting them in the little tray with your keys and walk through.  
     Pulling out intestines is considered bad form.  Another variation of 
     this is to ram a knife in your chest and walk through.  When the 
pass 
     the stick over you, look suprised when they find the knife.  "I've 
been 
     _looking_ for that..."

310. Use Fleshcraft and props to look like George Washington.  Visit a 
     cherry orchard with a chainsaw.  Then take the chainsaw to a U.S. 
mint 
     and complain about being stuck on a measly one dollar bill.

311. (Here's a bit of a prank for any Malkavian who becomes a Prince or 
     attains a lot of power...)  Find some vampires who have irritated 
you (
     shouldn't be too difficult) and whom generally have a lot of 
enemies.  
     Invite them over one night one at a time.  Once they come in, have 
them 
     subdued and buried upside-down in your back yard with only their 
ankles 
     and feet sticking out of the ground.  Once you've planted them all, 
     host a party to the general vampiric population.  To open the 
     festivities, gather everyone out back.  Then start up your riding 
lawn 
     mower.  Label each pair of feet witht eh correct name and commence 
the 
     bidding...

312. (Here's anothe rone for a Malk Prince...)  Procure one of those 
cranes 
     with those humongous magnets from a wrecking yard.  Install the 
magnet 
     in the roof of your grand hall, disguised as art.  (It'd be worth it 
to 
     hire a Torry for the job just for the look of suspicion on his 
face.)  
     Now hold a gneral assembly of the city's population.  Declare that 
     weapons will no longer be permitted in your presence.  When people 
     start laughing and looking askance, flip the switch.  You ought to 
have 
     a nice collection of weapons and a few Brujah decorating your 
ceiling 
     soon thereafter.  If you're really feeling frisky, flip the switch 
on 
     and off, letting the Brujah bust ass until they frenzy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
No burning bushes here.  Just us chickens.  And congaratulations to the 
three co-winners who knew what in the hell "untagleebanglobangloben" meant.

                The Pranklympics, Part The Re(e)d Sea
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
313. Dominate a House Representative into giving a speech supporting the 
     Civil Lefts Ammendment.  If you have a conscience, keep him from 
     killing himself later.

314. (Need Auspex or blind fighting to do this one.  Well, it makes 
things 
     easier, anyway...)  Throw on a sleeveless green dress with a rope 
for a 
     belt.  Put on a blindfold.  Grab some scales and a sword and visit 
the 
     OJ Trial.  (Bonus points for braining that annoying weasel Shapiro 
with 
     the scales.)

315. (Need to be _really_ god at Fleshcrafting for this one...)  Go buy a 
     bunch of gerbils or hamsters.  Suffocate them all.  Now turn them 
into 
     minature wolves.  Stuff 'em all into a sack with a note saying: 
"You're 
     next, furbutts.  Love, The Tremere.".  Now go toss the sack where 
you 
     know a lupine will get it.

316. Find a deer lease and hunt hunters wiht some paintball guns.  (Bonus 
     points if you can get them to shoot back.)  Now track a deer and 
kill 
     it.  Superglue the paintball gun to its hooves and leave it where 
you 
     know a hunter will find it.

317. Once more at the deer lease, track and capture some deer.  (Don't 
hurt 
     'em this time.)  Now spraypaint a camoflague pattern on them with 
neon 
     orange and yellow spraypaint.

318. (This one requies telepathy and skilled users of Obfuscate...)  Have 
     the telepath secretly follow a hunter.  Have the other vampire 
follow a 
     deer that the hunter is tracking.  Now, once the hunter raises the 
     rifle to aim at the unsuspecting deer, the telepath gives the mental 
     signal to the other vampire, who Obfuscates the deer.  Now, while 
the 
     hunter is confused, have the telepath use Mask of a Thousand Faces 
to 
     look like a deer and tap him on the shoulder...

319. Find a 'great white hunter' who hunts only for the sheer pleasure of 
     drilling Thumper.  Catch him, kill 'im, gut 'im, and clean 'im.  Now 
go 
     tie him to his hood, put on a deer suit, and try driving out of the 
     hunting park.

320. Find some loony who claims to hear voices speak to him.  Using 
     Obfuscate and patience, give him some _real_ voices and some 
     _direction_ in his life.  He always _did_ want to burn down that 
     secluded, spooky mansion that attracted a lot of people at night, right?

321. Make a bunch of little flags with a cracked mirror on them (nice, 
     eh?).  Whenever you go someplace (especially where the Prince or 
     Primogen members are), stick a flag wherever you are (in a table, in 
     the ground, in a sofa, etc.) and declare it your personal domain.  
     Demand vampires to 'present' themselves if they get within five feet 
of 
     your flag.  Call bloodhunts against intruding animals.  Try and make 
an 
     extridition treaty with the real Prince when the little buggers flee 
     your domain.  Give progeny rights to inanimate objects and 
unsuspecting 
     passers-by.  Carry a folding chair with you and call it your 
throne.  
     Keep this up until everyone gets used to it.  Now wait until soemone 
     places a hand on your shoulder.  Very quickly ram a flag into the 
     hand, scream out a bloodhunt against the attemted assassin-hand, cut 
it 
     off swiftly, and run away while eating the appendage whole.  On the 
     next night, superglue all your flags to a cat and claim that it 
deposed 
     you in physical combat.

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Oh, yes, I'm back again... hide the women and children and pass out 
condoms            
to the sheep...
            
            The Pranklympics, Part Roaches Suck Major Bobo
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
322. Go find some people tripping on acid (shouldn't be too tough in 
     Denton).  Now repeatedly Earth Meld in front of them.  Become a 
local 
     legend and earn the admiration of your peers.

323. Go to Hollywood.  Dress up like Dracula and wear a rainbow wig.  Now 
     Obfuscate and make cameo appearances in as many movie scenes as 
     physically possible.  Drive film crews and editors to alcoholism.

324. Find a medium sized stream that has a beaver dam (usually visited or 
     seen by day).  One night, tear it down and replace it with a cement 
     dam. Superglue little contruction helmets to a few of the larger 
     beavers and spraypaint "Ain't evolution grand?" on the new dam.

325. Impersonate Abraham Lincoln and give impromptu renditions of the 
     Emancipation Proclamation at Ku Klux Klan meetings.  For bonus 
points, 
     recite in its entirety Dennis Hopper's monologue to Christoher 
Walken 
     from 'True Romance', inserting 'inbred redknecks' for 'Sicilians'.

326. Find a Lasombra.  (Shouldn't be too hard-- just shoot a bunch of 
     wops and pick the one that gets back up.  If anyone took offense to 
     that, you are an idiot who takes offense too easily and will likely 
     take offense to being called an idiot, also.  Idiot.)  Now beat the 
     piss out of him.  (Or her, if you're a> a male chauvenist pig, b> an 
     equal-opportunity asshole, or c> if you don't want to use sexist 
     language but think political correctness is stupid and just want to 
     poke fun at as many people as possible.)  Then manacle his feet and 
     bring him to the top of a decent sized building.  Call the press 
     and then lower him a few stories upside-down from a chain linked 
to    
     the manacles.  Have someone strong start swinging the squealing 
     Lasombra back and forth once the camera crews start showing up.  
     Should make for some interesting live camera coverage, eh?

327. Find one very macho, punkish Brujah (preferably one with a loud 
     mohawk).  Get some friends and stake him.  Now shave every single 
hair 
     off of his body.  Apply an obscene amount of makeup (neon purple 
nail 
     polish included, of course) and paint yellow hair on him.  Dress 
him   
     up in an itty bitty teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini and get in a 
     vehicle with a camcorder hidden in the back.  Now tie a rope to the 
     stake and yank it out (while in the car, of course).  Drive off just 
     fast enough as the screaming little boy-toy runs after you, filming 
     all the live-log way.  Declare free movie night at the next Elysium 
     gathering.

328. Find one pretty little Toreador that is excessively vain.  Stake 
     'em.  Drag him to a tatoo parlor and Dominate the tatoo artist into 
     tatooing "Poseur For Hire" on his forehead.  Now take out the stake 
     and _heavily_ Dominate the Torry into forgetting the whole incident 
    and ignoring the tatoo,refusing to believe that it exists.  Fun for  
     those prestigious TorridWhore parties.

329. Find a vampire who has a known interest in the occult.  Now go kill 
     a ram and take its horns and hind-quarters.  Then go nab the 
vampire.  
     Cut his legs off from the knees down, replacing them with the ram  
    legs, and superglue the horns to his head.  Take his shirt off and 
    carve pentagrams and runs on his chest ("C'thulu rocks your lame ass" 
    is a popular suggestion).  Now go throw him in the Tremere chantry.

330. Find out when a Primogen member will be leaving town for a week or 
     so.  Once he's gone, bulldoze his entire estate, removing 
_everything_ 
     completely.  Cement over the entire compound, leaving "Caine loves 
    you, but everyone else thinks your an asshole" written in the cement.

331. During Christmas season, Fleshcraft a bunch of little kids into 
     demented versions of Santa's elves.  Use your own imagination as to 
     what to make long and pointy.

332. Attend an opera or classical music concerto.  Obfuscate and sneak 
     backstage with a portable stereo, a Quiet Riot CD, and a lot of 
     wires.  C'mon, feel the noise...  (Bonus points for actually finding 
     structural attunement.)

333. Use Chimestry to make the Prince look like Bozo the Clinto-- ummm... 
     Clown during a serious speech.  (Or the Emperor Who Wore No Clothes.)

334. Nab a Lupine.  Shave it.  Send the Polaroids to its Pack Elders with 
     suggestions to post them in the local caern.

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Well, seeing as how shallow my mind is, it's not too suprising to see the 
well run dry about now.  So sit tight and be patient, for more pranks 
will be coming your way soon.  Remember, if you have any good pranks, 
please send them my way (ac51@jove.acs.unt.edu) to be put in the 
Prankthology, a grand compilation of many pranks from many people.

-Peg Leg Pete, they tried brain surgery on me, but they didn't count on 
     organ rejection...