--------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes, kiddies, it's that time again. It's time for Sadistic Malkavian Pranks! Loone and I have decided to share with you some of our exploits and ideas from our rooamings across the years. That's right, you too can be a sick bastard if you just follow these instructions. So sit back and enjoy! Disclaimer: High levels of Dominate, Obfuscate, Vissectitude, and Dementate are highly suggested. 'Course, a good amout of Potence, Fortitude, and Celerity never hurt anyone. Well, not us anyway... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Pranklympics, Part Won ______________________________________________________________________ 1. Cut off the hands of Koko the gorilla (the one that uses sign language). 2. Turn an entire hotel in Las Vegas into Elvis lookalikes. Give them all an intense hatred of Elvis. 3. Go to a parachuting school. Replace parachutes with beach blankets. 4. Turn a good number of the Secret Service into clones of the President. Convince them that they really are. 5. Nab a barber and replace him/her. Give unique haircuts. Use pruning shears and a chainsaw. 6. Blow up the supports of the Eiffel Tower. (Really irritates the Toreador and the French.) 7. Switch smoke grenades with real grenades at an Army Reserve drill session. 8. Sneak live ordnance into magazines before a MILES gear exercise. 9. Kill every lawyer who has an ad on TV. (Actually, this should go under the heading of Public Service...) 10. Change headings of major newspaper to read "Prince ________ Molests Bass!" (Thanks to v.a.l. for the inspiration on that one...) 11. Release and heavily arm inmates of a maximum security prison. 12. Stage a public hanging. Have the public trial five minutes later. Have hangees make arguments in their defense. (Be sure to have live news teams present...) 13. Massacre an entire radio station. Call police and announce on the air that a certain song is never to be played again. Punish transgressors. (The song was 'Basketcase'. It let out too many Clan secrets...) 14. Crash a live-televised awards show. Have fun and act like a Brujah. 15. In New York, get a vendor stand. Sell hot dogs with fingers and penises in them. --------------------------------------------------------------------- All right, kiddies, I'm finally back with more sadism and fun. Sit back and relax, 'cause it's time for the Pranklympics, Part Too! ______________________________________________________________________ 16. Get one tied-up Nosferatu. Put a mask on 'em. Go to a showing of Phantom of the Opera. Unmask him on stage and shoot him repeatedly when he tries to run. Watch for reactions when he gets back up and runs away again. (You might have to shoot an actor to convinve the audience that the bullets are real.) 17. Replace doctors in an ER. Try _real_ hard to do well. Tie up real doctors and let 'em watch. Ignore screams. Arriving cops become candidates for gall bladder removal. (Loone, are you _sure_ the gall bladder is in the head?) 18. Kill every 'Smith' in a large town. (This may take some doing, so only hard-working Malkies should try this one.) 19. Go muddin' in the Prince's limo. Tying his favorite ghoul to the hood is strictly optional. 20. Turn Prince into Charles Manson. Run like hell. 21. Take a sledgehammer into a house of mirrors. Don't come out for a few hours. 22. Go to an opera. Show 'em what _real_ Vikings were like. 23. Replace all the children in a marternity ward with chickens. Hoist all the kids from various flagpoles across the city. 24. Put out ad for cheap liposuction. Punish stupidity with a knife and a vacuum cleaner. Volunteer the mayor if there are no takers. 25. Enter a demolition derby. Heavily arm Obfuscated boarding parties. 26. Commandeer mutiple cement trucks. Visit the Prince's domicile. Leave town soon thereafter. 27. (Highly difficult. Only for the most experienced sadists.) Get an 18-wheeler with a trailer. Capture and kill Shamu. Deliver to Greenpeace's headquarters with a big bow around him. 28. Rob the same bank every night. Start taking furniture when they run out of money. Start taking employees when they run out of furniture. Bonus points to the longest spree. 29. Track down and kill the Brady Bunch just for fun. 30. Set a firehouse on fire. Do it again half an hour after they put it out. All night. 31. Paint big yellow smiley faces all over every billboard in town. Have ghoul snipers kill anyone who tries to paint over them. 32. Replace a boxer in a major fight. Show the world what potence can really do properly employed. 33. Kill every talkshow host you can during the filming of their show. Take over the conversation. See how many hosts go into hiding. 34. Teach ticket scalpers the true meaning of scalping. Give tickets (glued to scalp) to the poor. 35. Have a good 'ole fashioned book burning at the local government archives building. (Not for squeamish vampires...) 36. Help scientists explore the mysteries of cryogenics. Improvise with meat lockers and pedestrians if proper facilities are not available. 37. Sneak onto an airplane (preferrably cross-continental) and steal all the toilet paper. Leave sandpaper. Stay and see how many use it in desperation. (Putting exlax in the food is highly suggested.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm back with more. Hope you enjoy... Pranklympics, Part the Tray ______________________________________________________________________ 38. Dress up as Colonial Marines. Designate all city officials as ' Aliens'. Save the Earth. 39. Turn entire petting zoo into vampires. Have ghoul videtape children's faces as their favorite animals spontaneously combust. 40. Go into music store. Break CDs and eat them. Puke up bloody bits on the salespeople. 41. Go to amusement park. Shoot one parent in every couple with children. 42. Replace a plastic surgeon. With fleshcrafting, give them more than their money's worth. 43. Dominate leading NASA spokesman into having a press conference to tell the public that UFOs and aliens exist. Provide him with fun photos and sketches. 44. Dress up as Crusaders and kill all non-white males, screaming "Kill the heathens! Death to all non-believers!" 45. Poison the coffee and donuts in a shop that most police frequent. Start a riot the next night. (Free inmates only if the riot sucks.) 46. Steal a major stash of cocaine. Have ghouls hand out to children at elementary school. 47. (Only for the most enterprising of pranksters...) Steal a mobile artillery piece. Renovate the slums. Park the piece in the Prince's yard. Leave the state. 48. Sneak into a mall. Switch all merchandise between Victoria's Secret and Dillard's Men's Department. 49. Spear pedestrians with self-propelled marlins. 50. Hack into a mjor TV uplink. Give a unique State of the Union Adress looking like Bill. No, make that Hillary... 51. Put anti-Toreador grafitti all over the Hoover Dam. 52. Skin a skinhead. 53. Go to an animal rights activist meeting wearing fur. With the squealing animals still attached. 54. Go to Six Flags. Jump off the Texas Giant at it's apex. Get back in line. 55. Let a werewolf loose in the middle of a Toreador Clan meeting. Dress it up in pink lingerie first. 56. Using a skinned werewolf hide, Mask of a Thousand Faces, and Vissectitude, impersonate a Lupine. Go punch a vampire whom you know carries silver bullets. Pretend to die when he/she shoots you. Yell "Boo!" when they bend down to drink form you. 57. Dress up like Barney and attack an elementary school with a chainsaw. 58. Make potholes in a major bridge. During rush hour. (C-4 is suggested.) 59. During Christmas season, go to the mall. Find a Santa. Hang him from the ceiling using his small intestine. Think pin~ate. 60. Visit SeaWorld with a fishing pole and a speargun. 61. Get ten of your friends. Dress up like Superman. Run through a TV news station to the top of the building. Try to fly. Run away laughing. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- More sick pranks, right on the heels of the ever wondrous v.a.l.! Pranklympics, Part Fer (Dedicated to Texans) ______________________________________________________________________ 62. Turn a ghoul into Pan (that little Greek boy-god) and have him attend mass. 63. Sneak into a baseball team's lockerroom with some friends. Kill 'em all, change into them, and take the field. See how long it takes before you are found out. 64. Buy a _lot_ of gerbils, hamsters, and other rodents from various pet stores. Think snowball fight. 65. Dress up in sheets like the KKK. Spraypaint the sheets red. Hang real violent KKK members in the mayor's lawn. 66. Steal a tank. Go joyriding through a museum and some of the Prince's major haunts. 67. Get the Yellow Pages. Visit as many apartment complexes as you can in one night, giving out $500 cash to any residents in apartment #13. Return two nights later and kill 'em all. 68. Sneak into a book store after hours. Bring a _lot_ of spraypaint. Turn all the books neon purple. 69. Juggle for crowds using Celerity. With limbs. 70. Find someone juggling chainsaws. Interrupt them at a crucial point. A knife in the ass will usually do the trick. 71. Set up a sniper hole near the Mexican border. Shoot all border hoopers one night. A week later, come back and repeat, but shoot all the border guards this time. repeat as necessary. 72. Change "Hooked on Phonics" tapes to instructional videos teaching little kiddies how to cuss like good sailors. (Thanks to v.a.l. again...) 73. Hoist the Jolly Roger in front of the Capitol Building. 74. Visit a Civil War reenactment. Dress up like injuns and declare war on both sides. Bonus points for the most scalps. 75. Slash all the tires on the cars at a used car lot. 76. Go to Gold's Gym. Bring a strong Brujah. Show the silly Kine what real strength is. Sell your "superstrength" pills for $20. (Yes, yes, it's a blood capsule...) 77. Visit a slaughterhouse. Using celerity and a sword, give 'em pointers. 78. Enter a bullfight. Ride 'em cowboy! 79. Dress up like the Beverly Hillbillies. Visit Rodeo Blvd. wiith flamethrowers and explosives. 80. Go to Disney World and chop off Mickey's and Minnie's heads in a crowd of children. 81. Turn an entire old folks home into vampires. Give 'em the Prince's address and a severe hatred of authority. 82. Go to a deer lease. Catch a deer and skin it. Dress up in its skin and go hunt silly people wearing neon orange camoflague. 83. Attend a political rally with a high voltage cattle prod. 84. Have a friend and yourself dress up like an Arab and an Israeli. Using low-caliber pistols in a crowded street, trade shots to the chest. Reload and repeat until the poliice and news teams arrive. Fill up on the police's blood and go play bumper cars with their cruisers. 85. Find out the meeting time of your local Diverse Culture Awareness group. Get some friends and dress up like _really_ bad stereotypes (body paint, wigs, and props encouraged) and attend. 86. Visit an electronics and appliance store with a sledgehammer and a bunch of IOU notes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- After evading many gentlemen who tried to give me free white jackets and free room and board, I'm back with more dastardly deeds that can (hopefully) never be traced back to me. Without further ado, I bring to you: Pranklympics, Part Fumf ______________________________________________________________________ 87. Dress up in suits of armor with swords. Decorate armor with English coats-of-arms and Union jacks. Kill every Frenchman you can find, singing "God Save The Queen". 88. Turn an entire dairy farm's stock into vampcows. (Somehow, I think Gary Larson infulenced me on this one...) Make wagers to guess what the media will determine as the cause of the spontaneuous combusting bovines. 89. Re-enact Don Quixote. (Damn, but I loved that story...) 90. Dominate a large number (at least fifty) of people into jointly peeing on the President's lawn through the fence while singing "Hail to the Chief", but replacing "Chief" with "draft-dodger". 91. Dress up like scuba men. Release a few alligators into a mall and chase 'em around yelling about purses and shoes. 92. Go mountain climbing. On a sky-scraper. Dressed up like Spider Man in neon yellow and orange. 93. Gets lots of friends, dress up like cowboys, and ride horses through the intensive care wing of a busy hospital. (Indiscriminate shooting is optional, of course.) 94. Attend a "Rogaine with Manoxidyl" informative meeting. Forcibly superglue throw rugs to everyone's head and chase them to a news station. 95. Rent jet-skiis. Have a demolition derby. (Telling other jet- skiers that they are now participants is not required.) 96. Go to a ski resort. Start a snowball fight. Five minutes into it, start wrapping impact-fused grenades into the snowballs. 97. Go to the zoo with a weedwhacker. Bravely fight a Grizzly. 98. Dominate Cindy Crawford into thinking she is a sheep. 99. Dominate a Tremere into believing that "Fantasia" is the ultimate authority on magical wisdom. 100. Convince a large portion of the American public that 70s style is back in vouge. Oh, wait, already did that one... (Ouch! I was just kidding, josephe, really...) 101. Dominate a Lupine and a Gangrel into singing "My Dog Has Fleas" as a duet. Videotape and send to respective elders. 102. Secretly turn an entire football team into ghouls before kickoff. Bonus points to the vampire who correctly guess the number of injuries by game's end... 103. Publicly draw and quarter Ted Kennedy at a feminist rally. 104. Fleshcraft a large number of people to look like Edgar Allen Poe. Dominate them into flapping their arms like wings and screeching "Nevermore!" all across town. 105. Randomly fleshcraft a sleeping member of a couple into looking like someone completely different just for chaos' sake. 106. Dress up like Lizzie Bordan and visit fast food restaurants. Don't skimp on the whacks... 107. Fleashcraft a bunch of kids into looking like Beavis and Butthead and dominate them into laughing rather stupidly. 108. Send mail bombs to imbicles who start chain letters. 109. Give a free magic show. Cut a buddy in half for real. Throw his legs into the crowd and let him pull himself after them. 110. Dress up like a clown and beat the hell out of all the mimes you can find. 111. After a Prince has called a bloodhunt on someone, turn about twenty people into look-alikes of the poor bastard. Then turn the victim into a double of the Prince. ______________________________________________________________________ Will he never stop? Likely not until Rosanne sings so without forther ado... Pranklympics, Part Roman Orgy ______________________________________________________________________ 112. Make a prominent rabbi look like Hitler. 113. Sneak into a haunted house. Go Horrid Form. Have fun and see how long it takes until people know you're for real. 114. Change to look like a famous person. Do something blatantly illegal. Make sure to have lots of witnesses. (See, Loone, I _told_ you we could get OJ...) 115. Get on top of a tall building and threaten to jump. A few hours (and a few shrinks) later, jump. Get up and say you feel much better now. Run away cackling. 116. Empire State Building. Competition to see who can actually land on someone when they jump. Use stunned onlookers for sustenence. (Bonus points for any mashed toy poodles and the biggest crater.) 117. Find the creator of Capri Sun. Stick a large, stainless steel straw into him, start drinking, and ask how _he_ likes it. 118. Force some heads into a bunch of balloons and blow them up with helium. Hand 'em out for free at a fair. (Mommy, mommy, look what the nice clown gave me!) 119. Play chihauhua-ball. 120. Dress up in a devil costume with a leather jacket and get a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Attend a Hell's Angels rally and take your rightful place. Start stabbing with your pitchfork if they give ya any lip. 121. Get a _very_ large supply of sodium. Visit a water park. (As v.a.l. said before, sing the Doors' "Come on baby, light my fire...") 122. Dress up like Paul Bunyan. Steal an ox and spraypaint it blue. Start choppin' down telephone poles, singing "I'm a lumberjack, and that's OK..." 123. Dress up like Elmer Fudd and visit a zoo with a bird aerie. Yelling "Pull!" before you fire is suggested. 124. Go to a vet. Get a bunch of syringes that will _induce_ rabies. Go buy a bunch of nasty pit bulls. Stick the doggies and visit a post office. 125. Using fleashcraft and stealth, replace a corpse before a wake. Shake people's hands and thank them for coming when they come to pay their respects. 126. Dress up in togas. Release some starving lions in the middle of a Catholic mass. 127. Sneak into a zoo at night. Heavily sedate and completely shave a gorilla. Spraypaint him pink and put a large pair of briefs and a baseball hat on him. Put a big screen TV in the cage. Sit him up in a easy chair and glue a remote in one hand and a beer in the other. 128. Get a bunch of friends and dress up like outlaw cowboys on horses. Hold up a mass transit bus, telling everyone you're stagecoach robbers. 129. Randomly tar and feather night court judges in the middle of a court session. 130. (Only for ambitious pranksters...) Climb up Mt. Rushmore and spraypaint Lincoln's nose neon purple. 131. (Again, only serious vampires should apply... or ones with a death wish...) Replace the Pope before a big trip. Preach the merits of Greek Mythology and its undeniable truth. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello there. I'm back with more. And this Pranklympics is dedicated to the Knights out there is the frozen wasteland of the north. You know who you are. So without further babbling, I give you... Pranklympics, Part the Viking Raider ______________________________________________________________________ 132. Find out where a high-society play is going to be performed. Get a bunch of friends and dress up like mimes with baseball bats. Beat the piss out of the actors, declaring that they are all frauds, and that silence is the only true art form. 133. Steal some sharks form an aquatic park. Put them in the Prince's pool and tip off the coppers. 134. Find a Coke machine. Break into it and replace the cans with hand grenades. Make bets to see how many teachers' cars get blown up by vindictive students the next day. 135. Visit a modern art sculpture exhibit with a jackhammer. 136. (This would be a tough one...) Just before an attack submarine goes out on an extended patrol, convince the entire crew that they are really a German U-boat and that they must destroy all sea-faring vessels for the Fatherland. 137. Call some friends in a nearby city. Have each group hijack a train and head towards each other cirt on the same rail. Play chicken, of course. 138. Attend a cheerleading convention with a well concealed shotgun. Watch for when they throw the little girl into the air. Once again, yelling "Pull!" is considered good form before firing. 139. Go to an old folks home with a gun full of blanks. Make bets beforehand to see how many heart attacks will be induced. (Yes, yes, I know, I'll probably get flames for that one...) 140. At an organ donor center, secretly replace some hearts with tomatoes. 141. Sneak into the Superdome before a Saints game with some friends. Try to time dropping form the ceiling so you can sack the quarterbacks. 142. Go to a pet store after hours. Fleashcraft all the dogs to look like Spuds MacKenzie. 143. Dress up like knights, carry around a bunch of shrubs, scream "Ni!" at everyone, and throw grenades at rabbits. (Sorry Chris...) Chucking coconuts with swallows nailed to them at pedestrians is strictly optional. 144. Think Scarborough Faire. Think real weapons. 145. Make a _real_ cat-o-nine-tails. 146. Go to a fancy restaurant. When the waiter asks what you wuold like for dinner, pull a dead cat out of your coat and tell 'em you want it medium-well. 147. Get a rifle and a knife. Go defend the Alamo. 148. Go to a professional fencing match. Really up the juice on those foils. 149. Replace a prisoner slated for execution the night he is to be killed. See how many times they throw the switch. Demand a doctor to check you out and _really_ confuse 'em. 150. Rob a bank that you know has marked bills. Over the course of the next week, accost a lot of people and tell them, "Dis is a robbery!". Put some of the stolen money in their wallets and purses. See how many get hauled off for questioning the next day. 151. Dress up like Vikings, travel to England, and burn and pillage a small coastal town. 152. (Only for the hardy and ambitious Kindred...) Go to Antartica. Wipe out all the scientists and the claim the international land as the domain of a certain Prince to all the autorities via radio. Run like hell and watch the Justicars descend on the unfortunate Prince... 153. Attend an orchestra with a few Roman candles and some smoke bombs. ______________________________________________________________________ Yes, right on the heels of my inspiration's latest Prankathon, more Pranklympics. Pranklympics, Part Lopsided Infinity ______________________________________________________________________ 154. Find a place that does nighttime skydiving. Sneak on board and stay hidden until everyone starts jumping. Hitch a ride down with someone right as they leap. Bonus points if your target pees themself. 155. (Variation on the above...) When everyoe jumps, throw the pilot out. Commandeer the plane and go back and see how many of the skydivers you can hit before they land. 156. Go bowling with dynamite. 157. Find some idiots bungee jumping off a rural bridge at night. Bring along some binoculars and a sniper rifle with a Starlight scope and a silencer. Watch for looks of shock as the bungee jumper's buddies pull their perforated friend up. 158. Find one of those places that makes animal ice sculptures during Christmas season. Dress up like "the great white hunter" and bag a few "savage beasts" with a shotgun and a British accent. 159. Replace a noted anthropology lecturer and unveil the secrets of Man's evolution form the noble bunny rabbit. 160. Get a bunch of friends and dress up in togas. Go find Ted Kennedy while on Capital Hill. Think Julius Caesar... 161. Brand a big "A" on the forehead of as many prostitutes you can find in one night. 162. During the middle of a nighttime mass, run in ans stake the priest through the heart, screaming that he was a vampire. Tell them all that you can prove it by taking out the take and saying that he'll then get back up again. When he stays dead on the floor, apologize and run like hell. 163. Find a bunch of obnoxious goth punks. (Using dominate and dementate, of course...) Declare the technology is a MENACE created by the ESTABLISHMENT to SHACKLE us and take away our FREEDOM and make us dress in bright COLORS. When you get 'em all riled up, hand out sledgehammers and lead them to Best Buy. 164. Find Alex Trabeck. Say "The current President." If he doesn't answer "'Who is' Bill Clinton", punch him in the mouth. Keep it up each night with a new question and answer until he answers the correct way. 165. Entice the same Gangrel into frenzying each night in the presence of the Prince until he looks like a wildebeast. 166. Find a Toreador who has a lovely little sculpture gallery. Tie 'em up and pry his eyes open (watch A Clockwork Orange for pointers...). Force himto watch while you spraypaint everything he holds dear neon purple. 167. Walk around exaggeratedly slow on tip-toes with a baseball bat. Whack a curious passerby. Continue until the police catch up with you. When they question you, tell them that you were just following Teddy Roosevelt's advice. 168. Dress up like a cave man and get a spear. Go to a science museum and attack the dinosaurs while singing the praises of mammals. 169. (You need to be able to hide real well on this...) Go to a night court. Think whoopee cushion. Think porcupine. Hey, v.a.l., we both had whoopee cushion pranks. Sick minds think alike, eh?) 170. Go to an aquatic park. Steal a dolphin. Now go to a tuna fish cannery. Beat the hell out of everyone with the dolphin. Then put the tuna employees in the tank you took the dolphin from. Put the dolphin in one of those big blue mailboxes. (Some disassembly required.) ______________________________________________________________________ Back for more punishment, eh? Here it is, the next installment... Pranklympics, Part Gestapo ______________________________________________________________________ 171. Find out when Gallagher's gonna give a show. Substitute one of his watermelons with one filled with nitroglycerine. 172. (This one is extremely difficult and requires a _very_ skilled practitioner of Obfuscate and Dominate...) Get two orangutans. Mask them to look like two heavy-weight boxers right before a fight, and stuff the real boxers in some small lockers. Unmask the overgorwn chimps during the middle of the first round. 173. (This is a variation of the above...) Replace two boxers before a fight. Midway into the first round, both go Horrid Form and pound the unlivin' bejesus out of each other. Ripping off a limb and beating the other boxer with it is considered bad form. 174. Get some friends and dress up like pirates. Make filthy landlubbers (that would most likely be Ventrue...) walk the plank off a skyscraper. (Thanks, Babd, for reminding me...) 175. Dress up like a gold miner. Carrying a pickaxe and some dynamite, go to an indoor mountain climbing establishment. Set up the dynamite and inform all the claimjumpers that they have five seconds to leave before they are evicted. 176. Go commandeer an eighteen-wheeler. Play chicken with with the police precinct building. No fear. 177. Go to a Blockbuster Video store dressed in a dark suit and sunglasses. Get every copy of Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and start walking out of the store. When confronted, tell the employees that you are on official FBI business and that you are confiscating important federal evidence. When they continue to argue, accuse one of them of being a vampire trying to run a cover-up operation and behead him. Tell stunned onlookers that the fact that he isn't getting back up while beheaded is proof that he was a vampire. Hell, everyone knows beheading vampires kills 'em... 178. Get a pinstripe suit and a tommy gun. Go to a crowded bar. In your worst Prohibition ganster voice, tell the barkeep, "Mr. Capone don't like ya musclin' in on his business, see?". Then gun him down and shoot up all his liquor. See how many people show up the next night. 179. Find a tupperware party. Reenact the Salem witch trials/burnings. (Damn tupperware...) 180. Make yourself look like JFK, bullet holes, splatted brain, and all. Call a press conference to tell America what _really_ happened that fateful day. 181. Sneak into a maximum security prison dressed liek Death, scythe included. Execute each death row inmate in his cell, but take his head with you. Enjoy the media circus the following night. A week later, call up some asinine show like "Hard Copy" with heads in hand... 182. Hijack a truckload of televisions. Sneak into an Hamish community and cement a TV into the living room of each house. 183. Get some friends. Nab as many younger Nosferatu as you can in one night. Fleshcraft them all to look just like Fabio. 184. (Only for the _truly_ sick and perverted pranksters...) Fleashcraft some guy's manhood to the point where if he walks naked in the sand, he leaves behind two footprints and a little ditch. 185. Dress up likes Moses. Go about Jewish communities and part small bodies of water with hand grenades and C-4. Public pools open at night are always nice... 186. Go to Lincoln's Log Cabin. Intoduce it to modern technology, ala the chainsaw. ______________________________________________________________________ Welcome back everyone. Yes, we have finally reached the 200th Prank Special of the Pranklympics. First off, I would like to thank the people who made this possible... (and no, these are not accusations...): v.a.l. aka Mercy, Chris and Mr. Bunny, Jason D. "IWTV Sucked" Corley, and my roommate and Cap'n- Matthew Hendrickson. Thanks all. now on with the show... Pranklympics, Part Budhist Monk ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 187. Go to an art class at night school. Cutt off everyone's right ear. 188. Assassinate a big city mayor. Continue doing this until no one runs for office. Bonus points for having each new mayor killed in a different manner. 189. Go watch "Under Siege" with some friends. Then go off Steven Segal and do it _right_. 190. Go gay bashing: beat the piss out of everyone with a smile on their face. (Thought ya had me, didn't ya?) 191. Mosh pit. Carefully concelaed personal tazer. Hours of entertainment. 192. Get one of those super slingshot water balloon launchers. Go to a chicken farm. Reveal to them the secrets of flight. 193. Find one of those Carnival luxary cruise ships. Head way north. See how far along cruiseships have come in terms of safe boat abandonment since the Titantic. 194. Commandeer a C-5 Galaxy transport plane. Raid a car dealership. Play Santa Clause form high altitude. (Thanks v.a.l.) 195. Once again, sneak into a zoo at nigt. Spraypaint all the primates neon purple and dress a hippo in a pink tutu and ballerina slippes with some superglue. 196. Hydrochloric acid. Super Soaker 2000. Law School. 197. Find a flag burner. Torch 'em and ask how _he_ likes it. 198. Get a steamroller. Have someone turbo-charge it. Go to a carnival and see how many smears you can make. Bonus points for dumb-ass mimes and clowns. 199. Get some friends and dress up like soldiers form Santa Anna's army. Take back the Alamo from those rebellious Texans. 200. * Special Offer Below * 201. Dress up like Confederate soldiers. Storm the White House and kick out the Yankee agressors. 202. Get a cement truck. Cement over the "Walk of Stars". Bonus points for snagging pedestrians. 203. Go to a cemetary and find some fresh graves. Grab some limbs and other body parts. Now find a museum with some old statues. Replace any missing parts and limbs with superglue and pilfered corpse pieces. 204. (This one's for you Matt...) Go to France with a duffflebag full of Bic razors. Enforce armpit shaving among the women. 205. Get some friends and dress up like Robin Hood and his Merry Band. Hijack armored cars and give all the money to the homeless. See how many keep it and get arrested. 206. On live TV, disembowel yourself and give a Roy Rogers lasso show with your small intestine. 207. Dress up in a dog suit. Froth your mouth with shaving cream. Beat the piss out of every employee in the post office. Make sure you bite all the mailcarriers on the butt. 208. (Only for the truly life-defying vamps... or something like that...) Locate and steal a nuclar warhead. (It may be best to import on this part...) Find a hippy commune. Decorate the warhead with peace slogans and superglue the hippies to the warhead. Call the authorities and demand global disarmament. 209. Find one of those silly dude ranches. Dress up with some buddies like Injuns. You know what to do by now... 210. Get a _lot_ of friends. Go to Scotland. Dress up like Highlanders with kilts and swords. Storm over Hadrian's Wall and punish the invaders to the south. * And now a SPECIAL OFFER ! If you can guess the word association that led to the name of each Pranklympic, you will recieve via e- mail the specail 200th prank! That's right, act now, operators are standing by! Here are the names of the Pranklympics, in order. And yes, I changed some of the names. Blea! Part Greeks at Marathon Part Also Part Twelve Copies of War and Peace Part Golfer Ettiquette Part Triple Gainer Part Roman Orgy Part Viking Raider Part Gestapo Part Budhist Monk Yep, that's all of them. Well, I'm off to start compiling the Prankthology. If anyone has any prank ideas or has heard of any pranks, long or short, please send them my way with credit given to be put into the monstrous Prankthology. Hopefully I will have it completed by the end of the semester and circulated. Thanks for hangin' with these and see ya'll later.