As we clean up after the grocery shopping event, and set up for the clan swap, let us look back at one of the more heartwarming and inspiring tales of this, the 23rd Parrlympiad; the story of Hagbuttus. * * *

Habuttus was born to a humble family of fluffy descent in the land of Narnia. He did all the things a child of his station did in Narnia at the time; cleaning up after that bloody Lion, feeding the satyrs, and generally being cute and british. Hagbuttus (known as Edwin Neville-Smythe at the time) had other ambitions though. The 58th Parrlympiad had been held in Narnia that year, and young Hagbuttus was enthralled.

He watched as bright young Madmen from all over competed to prove their insanity in this highest of forms. He was especially enthralled by Bowling for Penguins, a new event that year. Hagbuttus vowed to be the best Bowler for Penguins there was. And so began years of hard training.

His parents discouraged this new obsession and tryed to steer Haggy into the field of gnomic secret master, but he would have none of that. He began to devote all his time to practicing picking up 7-10 splits using two fairies and a big rock. He would dream of throwing a perfect strike ball, an especially difficult task when your pins try to run away and are constantly wailing and gnashing their teeth. Bowling for penguins consumed his life.

Then, on 76nd Grune tragedy struck! Hagbutt was picking up an especially tricky split, when he felt a hideous fluffyness sweep over his body. Dropping the ball (much to the relief of the 3 pixies/pins), Hagbuttus passed out. Rushing him to the hospital, his concerned parents were informed that their son had come down with an acute case of Pink and Fluffyness, which at the time was incurable. Hagbuttus was distraught. He would be forced to become some children's toy now. He fell into a deep depression. It was during this time that Hagbuttus first began to develop Hagbuttry (He was attempting to synthesize some cheap Prozac, but added too much Paprika).

Hagbuttus would not be bowling now if former Penguin Bowler Gold Medalist Gurgleis hadn't heard of his fan's plight. Travelling to Narnia, he gave several smarmy and Full House-esque speeches on never giving up and that Hagbuttus wasn't handicapped but differently abled. An enraged Hagbuttus dominated the foolish Gurgleis into the obsequeous shell of a...a...whatever that Gurgleis is today. After killing a Sphinx to reassure himself that being pink and fluffy didn't necessarily mean being cute, and trying his hand at script writing (No network would take his shows...) Hagbuttus jetted out here to dread Kadath to try out for the Bowling for Penguins in this years Parrhesian Olympics. After spinning his head a few times, Hagbuttus was promptly signed in, just in time for the ritual putting out of the eternal flame.

So keep your eye on this hot young Narnian, he seems to have big things in his future here...

Narrated by:
Alexus Derenkovicus, apropos of nothing