As the ParrHesian games continue, destroying most if not all of the city they were located in, Alik opens up his concessions stand.
"Vitae! Nice and fresh! Your choice of generation! We guarantee no Blood Bonding will occur! Get yer vitae here! No, sir, I'm afraid we don't have any from left-handed gardeners who own chihuahuas. You Ventrue need to relax those feeding requirements a little."
"Malkavian souvenirs! Cracked hand mirrors! Bottled Malkavian blood! Pieces of the stadium! Hagbutt fluff! No, I'm afraid it's only in pink. Tremere-wear shirts! How about this one?"
Alik holds up a shirt that says "I went to the ParrHesian Games, and all I lost was my mind."
"No? OK, how 'bout this then?" The shirt reads, "My Antediluvian was cursed by Caine and all I got was this stupid Derangement."
"Oh, something a little less insane? Hmmm. How about a "Diablerize Me" sign to stick on someone's back? A nakpin with Riahanna on it? A spider? Or this very lifelike sculpture of ParrHera herself, for easy home leering! Thank you sir, you won't be disappointed."
"The Tonya Harding memorial bat! Great for breaking knees! A replica of what Kerri Strug's ankle must look like! Genuine ParrHeran torch! No, you don't get your money back in case of Rotschrek. All sales are final. Badger cubs! Take one home today! Try a mug of Mr. Badger's coffee, or a nice shot of rum! Get your very own Parr clone!"
Alik suddenly gets an idea. Next to the concessions stand, another stall goes up. There's a very worried guy in a straight jacket sitting on a platform, and a Sabbat Malk in a tank below.
"Dementation Booth! Hit the target, and the Malkavian will give the hapless victim a derangement of your choice! And we'll pay top dollar for victims! Try your luck!"
"You! Yes, you there! How about a penguin? Or some souvenir bits of charred Tremere? A do-it-yourself Blowing Things Up Kit? (A few sticks of dynamite.) Ah, no. I see you need something special. How about the gold-plated Defibrillator Set? Ah, good."
The silly customer grabs the paddles and looks for a victim. Of course, the gold plating conveys the shock to him as well as to the victim. Alik shakes his head. "Oh well. No refunds. Caveat emptor, you know."
"Leering Booth! Our professional models will pose for you to leer at! Only five dollars a leer! Come on down!"
"Toreador Catapult! Hit the shark pit with a Toreador, and you get a free shark! No, I'm sorry, we don't provide fishbowls. You'll have to carry him yourself. Heh. Frisky, ain't he? Ooh. That's gotta hurt. Oh well. Dead customer, no free shark."
"Richard Gere masks! Frighten small animals in your own Haven! Hagbuttries! Get your Hagbuttries here! Free with a copy of the Tomato Application, which is itself reasonably priced. Why are we charging? Why, because this is the ParrLympic Edition. See the little stamp that says so right here?"
Another booth appears. The Amazing Preston begins his world-infamous magic show, and succeeds about as well as he usually does. Not at all. "Sorry. Admission is not refundable. No, you may not diablerize my alternate personality."
"Hey, Alik?"
"What?"
"Where are you getting those stadium pieces?"
"Oh, from the support pillars."
"The support pillars?"
"Yeah, I've been chiseling bits out of them. They're getting a bit thin, too."
"YOU WHAT?"
"Is there a problem?"
The stadium begins to shake. There is a loud groaning, and the entire building collapses. Alik shrugs. "Cool! More pieces! HEY! Stadium pieces are now HALF PRICE!"
And as the hordes of spectators disappear and the hordes of unsatisified customers and badly deranged victims appear bearing heavy weapons, Alik grabs a lot of cash and heads for the hills.