Contestants:
Paisley Lemmium
Andycles Langicus
Fiendius Maximus
Spookulus
Hercubadger
Gurgleis
Handelolis
Countless others
Judge:
Me, Jake.
As the contestants arrive in the stadium, an air of confusion is detected by those with auspex, as Hercubadger, Spookulus, Gurgleis, and Andycles wonder what the hell they are doing here, as they have no recollection of having signed up.
As there is not sufficent room on the running track for the whole list, the judge declares that only people who actually knew they were entering this event need participate. So Paisely Lemmium, Fiendius Maximus and Handelolis walk up to the starting block. As they stand behind the line, ready to start, Fiendius looks at the other two and says in his most staunchest of tones "I got both of you beat" little realising that the judge doesn't particularly like Australians, and see's no reason why the ideas of ethics and impartial judging need apply here.
The starter gun goes, and Fiendius and Paisely dash madly to the judges desk, Fiendius arriving first, slamming three red wagons full of paper work on the desk crying "These people have all signed up in this game". A check of the paperwork reveals that all of Tremeropolis have been signed up to this event. Realising the full ramifications of these rash actions, ie. that alot of Tremere have been invited HERE, the gates are bolted shut and several of Jakemans changeling friends are asked to seal the gates magically, just in case.
Paisley Lemmium arrives seconds later, babbling on about his friend who got signed up to a listserv discussing soil qualities, realising too late the he made three major mistakes 1) It had to be people at MT&T 2) It was supposed to be signed up to this event 2) His entry was way too long and in some places didn't make sense, only serving to infuriate the judge. His saving grace was the declaration that he managed to register himself to play President '96, and has no reecollection of this whatsoever.
Handelolis swaggers up to the judging desk, declaring that it was he, games organizer, that signed everyone participating in this event, up, so therefore anyone that other competitors signed up was also signed up by him. This would have been not so impressive in itself, but, seconds before Paisely is declared winner due to unbridled stupidity, Handelolis backs a mini-tanker with Speights Dark painted on the side, hands the judge a beer stein and winks..... It seems that as games organizer he neglected to tell the others that the rules about no bribing the judge had been waived for this event. The judge see's no reason to penalize Handelolis for this infringement, as that might mean having to give the beer back, and so Handelolis is declared winner.