"Mmmmf. Wha...Who...Oh god." Sammy gets up from the pile of junk he was sleeping on. It was not a very big alley, but it was his. Bob, Sammy's blodbonded Ravnos, poked him again. Sammy had ripped out his tounge in a fit of pique last night. Sammy was still not sure what pique was, but it made him very angry. "Ug. Games today! Ak! Must judge!" Sammy picks up his umbrella and does a quick count of his one0hundred and eleven fish. "Hmmm, today was also the day I was going to reveal my new Discipline. Oooo boy. Someone is going to get it today. Serves them right for having Handel call me nice. Allright, Bob, I'm off. Don't get too chatty while I'm gone!" Sammy vanishes. All that is left is an evil laugh and a few bars of "PEEK-A-BOO" by Siouxsie and the Banshees, sung by a blue goldfish.
Sammy reappears in the arena. The contestants are already lining up
for the event. It was a surprisingly good turnout, only two people who
signed up hadn't shown up. As usual Hagbutt made his move first.
Pulling out his
Book On How To Scare Small Animals and an assorted handfull of cute and
fuzzy things, Hagbutt spends the next ten miniuts following the instructions
in the book, before deciding that he has better things to do and leaving to
attack some Tremere.
Sammy briefly toys with the idea of disqualifying Hagbutt for
consulting a
book, but thinks better of it. Now that Hagbutt has left the playing field,
the other contestants decide that things will go much better. Sammy prays
that the next entry is better. It is.
Riahannycles pulls out of her bag some awful cute
sleeping animals, three kittens, a baby badger, and a cute, fluffy pink
thing. She squeeze them tightly to her chest and plants some hard kisses
on each of their heads, a la Elmira. "Now Fluffies, we're going to be
*good* fluffies or Ria's going to have to put the Nakpins on you again
and you *don't* want that." The pink fluffy thing begins trempling while
the badger bites Riahannycles, good and hard. The kittens are still
asleep.
She sets them on the ground and does some preliminary scaring.
"Boo!" One of the kittens wake up, and the fluffy thing and the badger
give her indifferent looks.
"I said BOO!" the badger jumps at this loud noise and the kitten begins
hissing. The pink fluffy thing pulls sticks out what can only be assumed
to be it's tongue.
Ria kicks the two sleeping kittens and wraps them up in white linen
napkins which are slightly torn around the edges, closing her eyes as she
does so. The kittens begin mewling piteously.
"Now LOOK, Fluffies! See what I had to do? I don't want to be a mean
Ria. NOW BE SCARED!" The badger and pink thing both jump at Ria and
bite her nose, while the third kitten runs away as fast as it can.
Riahannycles falls down and tries her best to fight the two ferocious
cute fluffy things off, but they begin tearing at her ears and hair and
finally the badger pulls out a napkin and smothers... her.. with.. it....*
Alikus decides to go next. Alik strides to the center of the field with a bunch of covered cages and various equipment. He first picks up a cage which turns out to contain a hamster. With a wicked grin, Alik turns away and does some quick fleshcrafting. Suddenly, he spins around, having transformed into an exact duplicate of Richard Gere. Grinning, he reaches for the hamster, and gives it a knowing wink. The little beast recognizes the fate in store for it, squeals sharply, and commits suicide rather than face it.
Next is a cage with two white mice. Alik (back to his normal (relatively) appearance pulls out a battered paperback. All that can be seen of the title is something about Sisters, and something that might be a W. He flips to a page, then sets the book on the ground, open to that page. Alik stares hard at the book for several minutes as the other contestants watch in confusion. Suddenly, the book begins to writhe, and in the next instant there is a very large, shabby, mostly earless cat sitting atop it. And it is very angry. Thankfully, the first thing it sees are the mice. There is a small puff of smoke from the cage lock, and the door swings open. Out run the mice, although the cat hasn't even moved yet. Slowly, it stretches, and then becomes a sudden blur of movement. Two squeaks later, and two mice are no longer scared. Two mice are no longer anything but lunch. The cat looks around and then plops down for a nap.
Lastly, Alik uncovers the massive video screen used in Blowing Things Up. He himself disappears, and the screen comes on, showing a grassy mountainside somewhere in Norway. A small golden animal, chipmunk-sized, nibbles on some new shoots. It suddenly flies into the air, and Alik is revealed again, holding it. He looks into the struggling thing's eyes, smiles, pats it on the head, and puts it back down. The creature sits and quivers, uncertain what to do. A gentle, kind smile on his face, Alik looks down at the animal. His face transforms into something only otherwise seen on Halloween, and he yells "Boo!"
The small creature turns and runs, toward the horizon with its view of the sparkling ocean. And it is joined by another. And another. Before long, a wave of golden-brown fur is running down the mountain to the sea. They leave behind only a few stragglers, who are all wearing blue robes and have tufts of green fur on their heads. The blue robes shrug and return to digging, punching, flying, building, mining, and directing traffic as usual. In the background, the wave of stampeding gold ones goes over a cliff, plunging into the ocean. The blue robes shrug, then one of them points up. Above every head, a glowing "5" has appeared. This turns to a 4, and then a 3, as Alik disappears again, reappearing beside the screen. The count hits zero, and every creature grabs its head and screams. Then, they begin exploding, almost all at once, blowing a massive crater in the hillside. Alik shrugs, picks up his stuff, and leaves the cat behind.
Sammy is much more impressed with this entry, although he has his doubts as to how many animals were actually scared in the making of this entry.
fiendus maximus stands up and says one sentance.....
"isn't that richard gere over there?"
the animals flee in every direction.
Sammy decides that he is VERY tired of stupid Richard Gere references and that the joke was old. Fortunately, there are only a few entries left.
Amorachus makes a valiant attempt to scare Mr. Badger. In an astounding move, he produces a bound and gagged Badger from his pocket and attempts to worry Badger with a spade. Badger unfortunately (for AMorachus) breaks his bonds. Amorachus is disqualified from the even because he left the playing field screaming.
Grey Wolf's entry is interesting. Deciding that rabbits would be too easy, he goes after shrews. This astonishing and interesting moveis truly one of the most original things Sammy has seen in a while. Using a nifty Discipline (Mind Twist of his own invention) Greyus does some very impressive things to exotica like echidnas and platipi. Sammy is impressed.
B-Stylus makes his last entry. Giving a dinky one line entry about how he's hungry, B-Stylus manages to do exactally nothing. Except that he manages to anger Sammy. Sammy walks slowly and coldly over to him.
"Didn't I say that if I didn't know you, there were to be no one line entries? Didn't I tell people NOT to send in one liners? Didn't you hear me say that? Well, you should have. But you didn't. And you sent in a stupid little one line entry. YOU IDIOT!! YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MALKAVIAN! YOU BROKE THE RULES! And you're going to pay. Handel said I was nice. Handel doesn't know me very well." B-Stylus stops moving. Then, with a sound like one thousand meat cleavers going into one thousand tunips, B-Stylus is ventilated. About a hundred holes, nearly the size of quarters appear in B-Stylus's flesh. If B-Stylus could move, he would be screaming right now. As it is, if he could move, many major tendons would be severed, so there would be no point. All eyes are focused on B-Stylus. The Arena is silent. Then there is a small chokeing sound from Sammy. He is doubled over, and seems to be gasping. Something small and black falls from his mouth to the ground. Another choke, some more small black things fall. They begin to crawl towards B-Stylus. More black things. A few at first, like black hairy drizzle. Then a few more. Soon a stream. Then a small torrent of black, blue, green, hairy, multi-eyed, many legged things crawl out of Sammy's mouth and towards B-Stylus. The sea of spiders doesn't stop. The first few spiders reach B-Stylus. They begin to crawly up his body. Into the small holes, so readily provided for them. The begin to spin their webs. A patch of ground is invisible due to the density of spiders crawling towards the doomed vampire. Soon he is covered in spiders. The clog his nostrils, bite at his eyes. He can feel every touch of their hairy legs. Finally Sammy stops his expectoration. He drops to all fours. Sammy begins to gag. His eyes bug out. Finally, with a sound like a gunshot, Sammy's lower jaw breaks, allowing a spider as big as his head to crawl through his mouth. Sammy picks himself up and heals his jaw. By this time B-Stylus has been totally cocooned in mounds of spidersilk. The largest spider crawls to the limp but still unliving form of B-Stylus. It begins to drain him of blood. The other spiders loose cohesion and melt into the blood they were created with, staining the white webbing red. "Stop!" Sammy remebers the rules about no diablerie. Calling the spider back to him, Sammy absorbes through contact the blood drained from B-Stylus. He replaces the blood he used in creating the Sea, then walks off. "HA!! And they said I was one of the nice ones. Serves him right too. Not listening to what I said. HA!" Sammy walks out of the arena, talking to himself. All eyes are on him, until someone realises that B-Stylus is still whimpering in his blood red shroud.
Suddenly Sammy runs back in. "I NEARLY FORGOT! OK. Grey Wolf, you get the Gold medal for your very good if confusing entry. Rianna, you get silver. Ummm...Bronze goes to...Alik. OK!! BYE EVERYONE!! I love you all!!" Sammy is seen to be wiping one last drop of blood off his chin as he leaves the arena again.