The competition opens as Riahannycles walks into the Colloseum, draggin her Ghouled and squealing East German judge behind her. "Quiet, you!" She says. She shakes him by the scruff of the neck. "Now sit there, no no, over your flag, durfleur!!" Riahannycles sheds her Angry Judge facade and smiles brightly as the competition begins. The eleven competitors walk onto the field, and Ria disqualifies five to begin with. ((YOU DIDN"T SEND ME ANYTHING!!!!!! I'M HURT!!!!!!!!!! I STILL LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!))
The rest of the competitors look at each other as a stinky smelly Samedi walks in. The Samedi then loses his disguise spell and is revealed as a young Tremere neonate. The competitors rush at them until Riahannycles reminds them that the Creative Tremere Destruction has already been held, so thppppt!
"Ok, yes, we can begin now."
And so the competitors begin.
Amhorach begins with running at the disqualified Badger, attempting to
tackle him. Suddenly he
is gunned down by several unknown assailants with a Vulcan cannon, who
place a note on his still
Undead body saying:
This is for the incident in Maricaibo involving Snoodles and the
Salubri.
Isn't that sweet, folks?
Meanwhile, the young Tremere tries to transform himself into a Gangrel, growling, coughing, then meowing softly and blushing in embarrasment.
Next up is fiendius maximus, who carries a Nosferatu over his shoulder. He dumps the creature into a pit conveniently carved into the Collosuem arena. "Stay put," he Dominates. fiendius notices Gekker sneaking up on his pit, Gekker not having noticed his disqualification, and finds that Gekker needs the Nosferatu to complete his collection. fiendius tells the Nosferatu to Obfuscate, then runs around telling the other Nosferatu to Obfuscate. Gekker wanders around, looking for Nosferatu until someone breaks it to him quite forcefully that he's Disqualified... auw, Gekker, now it's too late for the sulking contest....
Riahannycles looks up from her notebook, baps the East German judge with it, and watches with interest. She notes fiendius gathering members of specific Clans and wonders why he would do that. She turns to this East German judge, "hey you. THe name of this even is Clan Swapping, right?" "J-Ja--er, ja wol." Riahanna baps him again. "Ja." "Ok then." She baps him again, enjoying the sound of it.
And folks, it looks like Riahannycles has disqualified fiendius... she seems fond of that, doesn't she? fiendius has decided to challengs this disqualification on the grounds that he will in fact swap Clans, he promises, one day, and she can't just disqualify him like that why she's a newbie. Riahannycles waves her notebook menacingly at fiendius. ((Sorry, fiend love, I am trying my very bestest to fit it in somehow.))
Meanwhile, that little Tremere mage tries his bestest to make himself a Toreador, painting a quick rose and trying to stare at it as if enchanted, but his attention is quickly drawn to Ashus, who probably could teach him a thing or two about Tories. At least the more... insane ones.
Ashus picks up a pad of paper and begins sketching. He holds it up and
looks disatisfied.
Grumbling, he walks off stage and brings up some paints. He nails the
pad up to the wall with a
hammer and tosses oes after a couple baps.
The pad is a tie-dye mix, but he still
seems disatisfied.
Thinking to himself, he looks at his hand and pulls out a
razor-blade, cutting off pieces of flesh
from himself. When he has a small, steak-sized pile, he takes the pad
off the wall and slaps the
selfmeat upon it.
He takes a camera and takes several pictures of the ungodly
mess, then shoves the lens into
it and takes a couple more.
Shutting off the lights, he looks at the negatives and becomes
entranced.
The judges seem amused by this, at least the East German judge does after
a couple baps.
That does look promising, folkens.
fiendius is still argueing with Ria, and he finally says, "Ok. See, last year, I got this Nosferatu to Swap places with me and write my Thesis paper. Does that work?" Ria shrugs, winces, brightens and nods. "That works."
Hagbuttus uses a previously unknown level of Hagbuttry (please dinnae yell at the judge.) to change from Malkavian to Toreador to Caitiff to Gangrel and then, in an ingeniously stunning or is that stunningly ingenious move, transforms himself into a full- blown member of Clan Tomato! Marvelous, folks, simply superb. Hagbuttrus then proceeds to read the Tomatoist Manifesto aloud.
Meanwhile, the neonate Mage transforms himself into a convincingly attired Ventrue, stuffed shirt and all. He speaks, belieing the unctious Ventrue facade. "I um..." his voice cracks. "*achem* I think you all should um not fight because there's this Masquerade thingamy..." *bap*
A. Derenkovicus, the last competitor, rollerblades in with a vampiric looking guy in evening dress. The announcer's voice calls out, "Full Contact Clan Swapping: Malkavian to Tzimisce." The two skate around artistically for a bit, and then begin to pirouette. Derenkovicus and his partner begin to feed from each other. Suddenly the break apart and roll to opposite sides of the Colloseum. They begin to skate at each other at dangerously high speeds. It looks like--Yes, folks, they've collided, oh Wow... There's a large dust cloud in the center of the Colloseum, and mutters of "fleshcraft fleshcraft bonecraft" and "Muahahahahaha" are emitting from the cloud.... The dust settles, revealing Derenkovicus wearing a Dracula costume, complete with cape and plastic fangs, and... what is this... is it... yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, it is a Parr Clone!!! fiendius maximus has run out onto the field and carried the Parr Clone away, apparently headed for the Parr Clone Hurling. Derenkovicus smiles and bows, and goes to find some way to change back to a Malkavian.
Now, 'tis time for the awards ceremony. The competitors line up, though the *Darling* Tremere is no where to be found. A few competitors look confusedly at Alik at the end of the line, smiling knowingly. As the awards are being given out, Hagbuttus suddenly says... "But Alik, you didn't compete!!!!"
"Why sure I did," says Alik, transforming back into the Tremere. "I may only have done one Clan, but I did one Well."
Ria smiles to herself as she places a Bronze medal around Ashus' neck, a Silver around Alik's, and a Gold around A. Derenkovicus' neck, who is still trying to pry those plastic fangs out.